White paper
by walking-on-a-dream
Summary: Lily and James meet each other on the first day of school and start a secret friendship. Its now seventh year and can they keep up the act? Or will something happens that brings it all crashing down? L/J
1. Behind their backs

**DISCLAIMER: I dont own. I got the idea from a great friend so contribution to them :)**

**WHITE PAPER  
Chapter 1**

"I will not get in the car if dad is driving! I won't make it there alive!" Said a smirking eleven year old red head girl dramatically; the girl's mother rolled her eyes as she walked up to the car.

"Lily don't be mean to your father." She said and got into the passenger seat.

"Yes Lily listen to your mother don't be mean." Her father said cheekily. Lily chuckled and jumped into the back seat.

"Okay, okay I'll be nice." Lily said with the smirk still planted on her face. "Isn't tuney coming?" Lily asked sadly. Lily's mother looked sympathetically at her only magical daughter and shook her head.

"Sorry sweetie but Petunia said she had accidentally planned to go to a friends house today." She said and turned back around as her husband started the car. Lily smiled a fake smile and nodded her head. Lily knew that Petunia had purposefully planned it, she had phoned her friend begging her to let her come over. Lily looked out the window for the last time before she headed to her new school. Lily let the joy fill her up as she thought of finally learning magic.

"Hey mum what do you think im going to learn?" she asked eagerly. Lily's mum and dad laughed.

"Oh honey we wouldn't have a clue we aren't witches or wizards." Lily's mum said as they pulled up at kings cross station. Lily just nodded and looked back out the window thinking of the things she was going to learn.

"Look Lily you're still alive!" Lily's dad said as he picked her up and swung her around. Lily laughed at how her dad still acted like she was five years old and hoped that he would never stop.

"Only just though dad" Lily replied once her dad put her down. Lily's dad mock glared at her and Lily mock glared back.

"Okay kids lets get to the platform now." Lily's mum said breaking the staring contest between the two. She shook her head at her husband and youngest daughter, she saw the strong bond they had with one another and smiled. She hoped nothing would ever get in the way of those two. They found the barrier and walked through. Lily saw the scarlet train and let her mouth drop open in awe. Her eyes twinkled with anticipation and her heart sped up, Lily was excited. As soon as Lily's parents had snapped out of the daze of their surroundings they bent down to Lily's height.

"You sure you got everything Lily?" Lily's mum asked. Lily rolled her eyes.

"You packed my trunk mum." Lily said while grinning.

"Oh yes, ah, that's right. you have everything then" Lily mum said trying to avoid her husbands eye knowing he had a large grin on his face.

"We'll miss you sweetie." Her dad said with much emotion.

"Write all the time." her mum added.

"And if you someone is being mean just tell me and I'll come beat them up." Her dad said puffing out his chest. Lily giggle at her parents.

"Don't worry I'll miss you to." Lily gave them a hug and a kiss and turned to look around the platform. Lily looked to her left and she saw a boy about her own age with black messy hair grinning up at his parents as they said something to him. Lily couldn't help it, she grinned at the boy, at this point to boy looked up and if possible his grin widened and sent a wink at her. Lily rolled her eyes but still smiled at him. Lily's dad looked at Lily looking at the boy and frowned.

"Lily, I don't want you making lots of guy friends okay?" He said to his youngest daughter. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Okay dad." She said. The whistle on the train blew and Lily looked up at her parents for the last time until Christmas.

"Well I'll see you at Christmas then!" Lily said as she took her trunk and headed towards the train. Lily dragged her trunk onto the train and into a compartment. Lily raced to the window and opened it and stuck her head out.

"don't forget what I said about people being mean Lils!" her dad called out with a grin on his face. Lily laughed. Only her dad would joke around like this. She took one last look at them and waved then the train disappeared around the corner. She sat done on the chair in her empty compartment and felt tears threaten to fall. She felt as though the room was getting smaller and smaller, trapping her inside, she had to get out. As she shut the compartment door firmly behind her, she could already feel the tears streaming from her face. The narrow corridor was already practically deserted of students. Lily just hurried down the train as far as she could, desperate to get out of sight before anyone would see her. They weren't tears of sadness as such. Just tears that needed to be...

BANG!

"Hey! Watch where you're going! I was walking here!" said a deep self absorbed voice. Lily looked up and tired to wipe the tears away so it didn't look as though she was crying, but too late he had already. "Sorry I'm just not in the best of moods." He held out a hand in front of her and let her take it to help her up. Lily smiled at him and tried to walk past.

"Hey what's your name?" he asked.

"Lily" she said shyly. He smiled.

"James."

"Well I have to go James, bye." Lily turned and walked towards the bathroom. When she got there she realised she had done all her crying and wasn't in the mood for more. Lily got up and thought about James…maybe they could become friends?

xxxxxxxxx

Lily headed back to her compartment and slipped in. she let out a sigh as she sat in a seat.

"Hi to you to." said a voice. Lily jumped slightly and looked for the owner of the voice. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was James. He had a guilty look on his face but as though he seemed to be hiding something.

"What are you hiding?" Lily asked; she had always been quite blunt.

James turned slightly red. 'At least im not the one turning red' Lily thought.

"All cleared up from your little escapade then?" James said with a smirk. Lily looked at James confused as to what he was meaning. James let out a sigh.

"You were crying." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Was not!" Lily said quickly, she always defending herself no matter what it was. James raised an eyebrow.

"Yes you were" he said

"Oh whatever, its not like you were all happy go lucky as well." she fired back at him.

"Oh well excuse me for being annoyed when something comes running into you." He said getting up off his seat.

"You ran into me and you know it!" Lily retaliated, standing also.

"Do I now?" he said clearly annoyed.

"You ran into me and you know it." Lily said glaring at him. Without out warning Lily started to smile and burst into laughter. James looked at her confusingly and a smile slipped onto his face at the red head on the floor laughing.

"I'm sorry I just am really bad at keeping a straight face for that long." Lily said after stopping laughing. James just grinned at her.

"I think we should start over, Im James Arnold Potter." He said holding out a hand.

"Lily Ella Evans nice to meet you Patch" Lily said with a smile shaking James's hand. James looked at her strangely.

"Where on earth did you get that nickname?" he asked her.

"It just suits you" Lily said simply with a smile. James raised an eyebrow.

"Okay Lela" James said with a smirk. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Lela? How did you get that?" she asked.

"Well your initials are lee and I wanted to add a la at the end so Lela." James said.

"Ahh. Original." Lily said with a smile. James smiled. "But no calling me that in public." Lily said.

"Same goes for you with that horrible nickname Patch" James said with a fake shudder.

"So friends?" Lily asked.

"But of course" James said mock bowing towards her.

"Man my dad would totally kill me right now." Lily said shaking her head.

"Why?" James asked

"Well my dad is pretty easy going with everything. He lets me do practically anything I want as long as it doesn't involve boys. How would he like it if the first friend I made WAS a boy?" Lily said a little upset but James just smiled.

"Want to meet three other boys?" he asked getting up. Lily looked up at him and tilted her head to the side.

"What do you mean?" she said. James grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the compartment.

"I'll show you." He said before pulling her along the hallway to another compartment. Lily looked at their hands and smiled, she liked James. Before Lily knew it she was standing in front of another compartment. James opened the door and let go of her hand.

"Hey guys I have someone I want you to meet." James said to the three boys sitting in the compartment. Lily looked around and met the eyes of the three young boys. One had black hair and was really quite good looking. The other had sandy coloured hair and looked a bit thin yet not to bad looking either. The last one had blond hair and was alright looking, not as good looking as the others but not ugly. Patch told Lily that the black haired boy was called Sirius Black and the sandy coloured hair boy was called Remus Lupin and the blond haired boy was called Peter Pettigrew.

"Hi guys." Lily said not leaving James's side. "well look I got to go but I'll see you there okay." Lily didn't wait for a reply but quickly left the compartment. She didn't like the rest of those boys, they were all smirking at her as if they knew something she didn't. Lily walked back to her compartment and got changed and before she knew it she was at Hogwarts. Lily got off the train and headed towards the voice calling the first years. They were lead down towards some boats and Lily didn't know where to go.

"Do you want to sit with me?" asked a blonde haired girl. Lily smiled gratefully at her and got into the boat.

"I'm Chloe Taylor." She said holding out her hand.

"Lily Evans." Lily said shaking the girl's hand.

"Do you know what house you want to be put into?" Chloe asked. Lily smiled, she was glad she had done her homework on Hogwarts to know the houses.

"Yes, either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw…you?" she asked.

"Gryffindor defiantly." She said with a bright smile.

"Who wouldn't want to be there?" said a voice getting into the boat. Both girls looked up to see James Potter and Sirius black climbing into the boat.

"You should ask before just getting into the boat you know" Said Chloe rudely. James raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh sorry, may we sit here?" James asked even though they were already sitting down.

"no." said Chloe simply. James and Sirius both looked at her in disbelief.

"Well your opinion doesn't matter." Sirius said crossing his arms looking at her smugly.

"Don't become friends with them Lily, they will only use you to prank you, take it from someone who knows." Chloe said looking at Lily. Lily quickly covered up her shock and nodded at Chloe, she didn't want to lose this friendship.

"Just because you didn't want to be friends with us doesn't mean you should turn Lily away from us as well Taylor." James sneered at her.

"I don't want her to get hurt" Said Chloe standing up.

"She won't!" James yelled getting up as well.

"James she is muggleborn." Chloe said softly.

"So!" James yelled

"Two words: Your Father" Chloe said smugly. James's expression darkened.

"Guys sit down, you're rocking the boat." Lily said in a worried voice looking at Sirius for help but he was getting up to defend his friend. As soon as Sirius stood up the boat tipped over and the all fell into the lake. Lily resurfaced and looked for Chloe. She saw Chloe's head pop up next to James's and she looked at them angrily. Lily looked around for a boat and saw one with three other girls in it. She swam over and they helped her in.

"You okay?" one asked as she took off her jacket and gave it to Lily. Lily took it gratefully.

"I'm Lily Evans." Lily said after a while.

"I'm Sophie Marwick" said a brown curly haired, ocean blue eyed girl.

"Nicole Rogers" said a black straight haired, brown eyed girl.

"Tilly Hunter" said a blonde girl with bright pink streaks and ice blue eyes. Lily nodded at the girls and they started talking.

"Why were you sitting with James Potter and co?" Nicole asked. Lily had found out she was the smart one of the girls, Tilly the out going loud out and Sophie the motherly sweet one.

"I met him on the train and I was just in the boat with the girl called Chloe and well they sat down then Chloe and Patch-James had a row about something about me being muggleborn and well then something about his father and well yeah then we tipped over." Lily said with an odd expression.

"You don't want to become friends with James Potter if you're a muggleborn" said Tilly with a dark expression.

"Why?" Lily asked, she had seen nothing wrong with being friends with James…stuff his father.

"To make it simple if you want to be friends with James its better you jumping off a cliff." Tilly said with a shrug. Lily looked at her with a confused expression but didn't comment, she would ask Patch later. The girls continued to talk all the way to the Hogwarts and had decided no matter what house they were in they would stay friends. Lily smiled at the girls and realizing she had just made three friends for life.

xxxxxxxxx

Lily, Nicole, Tilly and Sophie got off the boats and waited for the others. Lily was looking around when she saw a wet Chloe storm towards Lily.

"I am not being left with him!" Chloe say angrily. Lily smiled at Chloe and laughed.

"its okay Chloe" Lily patted her on the back and then noticed the three girls looking at Lily expectantly. "Oh Chloe this is Tilly, Sophie and Nicole" she said as she pointed at each one respectively. Each girl greeted one another and before they could say more they were ushered into the school which they were to spend the next seven years of their lives.

"Welcome first years to Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry, my name is Professor McGonagall and I am the transfiguration teacher and head of house for Gryffindor. While you are here your house is like your family. Between sharing dorms, classes and tables you'll begin to know them better than you know yourself. A member of your house achieves something you gain points- do anything wrong and you'll loose points, the house with the most points at the end of the year wins the house cup! Any Questions?"

"Pro-fes-sor, ca-n youuu dr-y m-e pleas-se?" asked a shivering Chloe. McGonagall tightened her lips and waved her wand and Chloe was dry. She noticed that Lily, James and Sirius were also wet and dried them as well.

"Thank you professor." They chimed together. She just nodded to the young 11 year olds and lead them into the great hall. Lily gasped at the sight. Thousands of candles were floating in the air and the ceiling looked like the night sky. It was beautiful. Lily was watching the sky above and didn't notice everyone had come to a stop so she walked straight into Sophie who was staring at the sorting hat. Lily looked at the hat and raised an eyebrow, 'why was everyone looking at the hat?' she thought. Lily gasped in surprise. The hat starting singing about the four houses and what they were, Lily was quite entranced by the song and was sad when it ended.

"Anderson, Samantha" Professor McGonagall called out. As soon as the hat touched her head it called "RAVENCLAW" the girl up looking relieved and made her way over to the clapping table. After a few people Lily was called.

"Evans, Lily" Lily got up to the stool with a confidence she didn't realize she had. Lily slipped the hat over her head "I was wondering when I would be seeing you miss Evans." The hat said "Very smart, you want to prove yourself but you also don't want to spotlight. Yes, yes your one confusing girl, but where to put you? Ravenclaw wouldn't challenge you enough so I guess the only option would be…Gryffindor!" Lily heard the last part being announced to the hall and Lily skipped happily over to the table. Lily was quite distracted with the going-on's around her until she heard a name.

"Hunter, Natalie" The professor said. Natalie walked confidently up to the stool and jammed the hat on her head. Lily waited until she heard the hat "SLYTHERIN" it announced to the hall. Lily looked at Tilly in shock but Tilly just sent Lily a grin and headed off to the table. Lily knew that they would all be friends no matter what house they were sorted into.

Sophie Marwick was sorted into Hufflepuff; Nicole Rogers was in Ravenclaw and Chloe Taylor into Gryffindor along with James Potter and co.

Lily looked over to where James Potter/Patch was sitting and met his gaze. James smirked and nodded towards her; Lily smirked back and gave a cheeky wink. And that's how it happened; Lily and James started their secret friendship. James never told his parents and Lily never told her parents. Lily knew that if her dad found out she would be in deep trouble and James knew that if his dad found out both Lily and James would be running for their lives.

Seven years later found Lily and James entering their seventh year together...


	2. We're Heads Now

**DISCLAIMER: see chapter 1**

**WHITE PAPER  
Chapter 2**

Lily closed her eyes and breathed in a deep breath and then let it out and opened her eyes. Lily smiled; the gleaming red train was waiting just in front of her. Lily walked toward the train with her head girl badge shinning in the sun light and went to find a compartment for her and her friends.

When she finally found an empty one she pushed her trunk in and sat down with a sigh. She was riding on the Hogwarts express for the last time. Before Lily could really think about it all Sophie, Nicole, Chloe and Tilly all walked into the compartment.

"Hey Lils!" Soph said as she sat herself down next to Lily.

"Hey Soph, how was your summer?" Lily asked happily. Soph scrunched up her face

"Ah it was so-so" she said shaking her head a little. "Yours?" she asked.

"Pretty great actually, I'm head girl!" Lily said with a large grin on her face. Tilly stopped from trying to put her trunk up onto the rack and grinned at Lily.

"Yes! And now we can break all the rules and NO ONE will care! Truth or dare games just got a whole better!" Tilly said with a glint of mischief. Soph, Chloe and Nicole just rolled their eyes at Tilly.

"Glad to see I can be of use for you." Lily said while rolling her eyes.

"Hey so who's head boy?" Nicole asked. Lily hesitated and she shot a look at Chloe.  
After all the years of being secret friends with James Lily had to tell someone, Chloe was it. She didn't approve at first but when she saw them together she had to admit they were like "two peas in a pod". With a silent agreement Lily replied.

"Chloe told me it was James Potter."

"What! That idiot?" Soph asked

"Wow im glad im not you right now." Tilly said lifting her feet onto Sohpie's lap.

"At lease he is good looking," Nicole said with a shrug earning a glare from Tilly and Soph. "What? I didn't say I liked him I just said he was good looking…gees!" she said with a huff then burst out laughing.

"You girls are crazy." Lily said shaking her head at the whole conversation. "Hey, I have to go meet my new head boy, tell you about it later girls!" Lily said

"If your not back in an hour we'll come find your body!" Tilly yelled out after Lily. Lily let a laugh escape her lips. As soon as the compartment door was shut Lily let out a sigh of relief. That relief was short lived as Sirius black was strolling down the corridor as if he owned it.

"Why hello Evans" Sirius said in a deep charming voice... or so some thought so.

"Good bye black," Lily said and walked off. She disliked Sirius black, a lot.

"Come on Evans, now that James is head boy we shall be spending a lot of time together you know, since you have your own room and all I shall live there as well." Sirius said with a grin.

"Well we'll see about that wont we." Lily said and walked towards the heads carriage, she couldn't wait to see James.

***

James was sitting in the carriage waiting for Lily to come. He dug his hands into his pockets and pulled out the letter he had read a hundred times before.

_Hey Patch,_

Head Boy ay Patch, well...guess what!? I got head girl! This year is going to be great, we can be together without raising to many eyebrows. I shall tell you because letters do not show the face but I have a very big grin on my face.

I've missed you Patch, I love my girls but sometimes I just wish our friendship was open and then you could have come over in the summer.

Well I get to see you very soon so I guess it's all going to be okay.  
You better have done SOME of your work because there is no way I am going to do it all by myself, absolutely no way. I actually found a spell that makes everything invisible except to the person that is meant to read it and there is no way you will be copying form me this year!

Well, I'll stop ranting because I know there is going to be plenty of time for that on the train, you know you love it. See you in a week Patch  
Love you bestest (Yes, even better than Sirius) friend,

Lela

James had read the letter so many times over the last week the paper had so many crinkles in it. He couldn't wait to see Lily. A smile crept onto his face, this year was going to be a lot better than the other. James was taken from his thoughts as the door slid open.

"Hello Lela…your late" James said as Lily walked in. Before James could prepare himself he was pulled into a hug.

"Hey Patch! And it was your lovely friend THE Sirius black" Lily said with a grin on her face.

"Ahh I see I see. I really did miss you." James said then made a face "I sounded so much like a girl just then." Lily smiled

"Don't worry I missed you to" Lily replied

"Yeah, but im a guy, guys don't say those sort of things until the girl says it"

"It will be our secret" Lily said tapping her nose, her face serious. Lily then broke out into a smile.

"You really can't keep a straight face can you?" James said amused.

"I so can," Lily said defensively. James raised an eyebrow at Lily stubbornness.

"Lily you are too stubborn for your own good" he said shaking his head at her. Lily rolled her eyes. "Lily, you look different, what did you do over the summer?" James asked and Lily did.  
Lily was a girl who never wore make up yet today she had some on, her clothes usually consisted of jeans and a t-shirt but today she had a black short skirt on with a white lacy blouse. Lily blushes and played with her skirt

"Does it look okay?" She asked nervously. James' eyebrows furrowed, who was she trying to impress?

"Yes, you look lovely...but why the sudden change?" Lily refused to meet James' eyes

"Um well you remember Samuel?" Lily asked quietly. James' eyes widened

"Davis?" Lily nodded "What Lily! Please tell me you do not like that stuck up twat?" James said angrily he knew Lily deserved better. Lily looked up at James with a frown

"He's not that bad James." She said, James rolled his eyes

"Let's not talk about this okay." Lily nodded and James smiled. He didn't want to fight with her right now. There would be plenty of time for that later.

Lily and James sat in the heads compartment talking until it was time for the prefect meeting. When the first prefect was opening the door Lily and James put up their charade.

The 5th year prefects for Ravenclaw were about to open the carriage door to see who this years heads would be.

"I bet its going to be Lily Evans, im just not sure who the guy is though" Said the girl prefect.

"Well if it's Lily Evans it better not be James Potter, we'd be in for a horrible year if it is" Said the boy, the girl nodding her head in agreement.

"Well only one to find out." The girl said with a shrug and opened the carriage door. The girl's eye's widened to see Lily on the same couch as James as far away as possible, with her arms crossed and a scowl across her face. James was sitting on the other end with a smug grin on his face.

"Great, what a year were going to have" The boy whisper to the girl. The girl let out a sigh and went to get a seat ready for the meeting. Lily shot James a glare and James smiled back cockily. The Ravenclaw 5th year prefects gave each other a look and waited for the others to come.

By the time all the prefects were in the room everyone was beginning to wonder if Lily and James were going to live after this year.

"Hello and welcome back" Lily said with a smile. "Im Lily Evans and this is James Potter, we are this years heads. If you have any questions please come to one of us first unless you need to see a teacher." Lily took a breath and started off again as if she was reading a book. "5th years can give detentions and ban various objects that aren't allowed, 6th and 7th year prefects patrol the corridors at night aswell as everything else. Heads can deduct points along with all of the above. If you are seen using your power wrongly your badge will be taken and you will have a week on detentions on your hands. Other than that have fun." Lily said with a smile. The 5th years looked terrified the 6th and 7th looked only a little better.

"Anything you would like to add Potter?" Lily asked nicely.

"None at all Evans. You seemed to make sure their year would be horrible enough, I don't think I need to add anything to that." James said with a smirk and put his hands behind his head and rested on the chair. Lily glared at him. "Except…if you get into trouble come to me, not Evans…I'll let you off." And he flashed everyone a smile.

"What are you doing?" Lily hissed to him.

"Getting on everyone's good side, what do you think?" he said with a smirk.

"Well, you are free to go, collect you passwords from your head of house and patrol the corridors every now and then." As soon as the words were out of Lily's mouth everyone practically ran out of the compartment.  
As soon as Lily and James were alone once more Lily let out a sigh of relief and let he forehead drop onto James's shoulder.

"We should get awards you know?" Lily said

"Yes, our acting skills are just so amazing" James said sarcastically.

"Anyone who bothered to look deeper would instantly find out we were more than enemies."

"No one has figured it out yet, and this year we have an excuse to talk to each other and spend time together, its okay." Lily said sitting herself back on the seat. "So how was your summer?" Lily asked curling herself into a ball on the train seats.

"Yeah it was alright I suppose" James said without making eye contact.

"Your dad," Lily said, not so much as a question more a statement. She didn't know what came over her; she put her arms around James and hugged him. "don't worry about it." Lily said. James stiffened then relaxed. Lily had grown over the holidays, her hair was smoother and she had put some makeup on. Not to say Lily wasn't pretty before, she was, but now, now she was just gorgeous. James couldn't help it. His feelings for Lily were coming back but he knew Lily only thought of him as her friend. He just didn't know how long he could last just being friends. James responded to the hug just as the door opened.

"Well aren't you guys lucky it's me not the others." Chloe said with a smirk as the two jumped apart.  
"Are the others coming?" Lily asked.

"Yeah they will be here in a second." Chloe replied.

"Who will be here in a second?" Lily heard the others voices as James and Lily's friends filled the compartment. Lily moved to the furthest place on the seat as James did the same. Tilly raised an eyebrow at James as she walked in and smiled at Lily.

"Hey Lily-pily" Sirius said as he put an arm around her shoulders.

"Get off me black." Lily replied. Everyone squished into the compartment and started up conversations of their own. Lily sent an annoyed look at James who sent one back. Their time had been taken up where they had to act.

"Now James dear, you have to take good care of our Lily this year. Maybe I don't know put aside your differences and get along?" Nicole said looking between the two. She had always guessed there might be something between the two maybe they would admit it one day? She only hoped Lily would let her in on the secret. Lily glared at James then raised an eyebrow.

"What do you think Potter?" Lily asked coldly.

"I'd rather jump off the astronomy tower" he replied just as coldly back. Soph rolled her eyes. Could these guys be any worse actors?

"We'll meet you guys at the hall, we have to ride in the heads carriages sadly." Lily said to the other and waved and got into a carriage with James. As soon as he had closed the door Lily let out a sigh of relief and lay herself down on the chairs.

"It's too much work Patch." Lily said dramatically. James laughed and dropped himself next to Lily.

"You'll survive." He laughed. James leaned back and closed his eyes. Lily grinned and got her wand out and squirted him with water.

"HEY!" James yelled. Lily laughed.

"I win I win!" Lily squealed like a child. James reached out and grabbed her wrists and pulled her down and returned the favor.

"Ah James im all wet!" Lily yelled well naturedly.

"Yes well we'll just have to be wet together." Lily just grinned.

***

They arrived at the school last, considering they were in the heads carriage which always came last, it was bound to happen. All of the school was in the great hall except them and the first years.

"Um Patch I kind of need to use the ladies room." Lily said with a pleading smile. James rolled his eyes.

"What is with girls and having to go with someone?" James asked shaking his head following her.

"Security thing really and I suppose just having someone to talk to." Lily said as she rushed in. James smiled. He didn't know what he would do without their friendship.

"Oof" James exclaimed as something made contact with his back pushing him over.

"Pretty strong aren't I?' Lily said happily from behind James.

"Definitely. Gees Lily could you be any more immature." James said jokingly getting up. He stuck out a hand to help her. Lily grinned and grabbed hold and pulled her self. She pulled just a little hard and landed right into his chest.

"Oops." Lily giggled as a few ghosts flew by. "Need to be a bit more careful don't I?" Lily said. James looked at Lily strangely as they headed down the staircase to the great hall.

"Lily you seem really high. What did you do?" James asked jokingly but serious at the same time. Lily shook her head.

"Don't laugh but im just really excited about school." Lily smiled up to him as she skipped the stairs two at a time.

"You are such a nerd." James said. Lily turned around and pointed her finger at him

"Says the man who ties first with me in every class." She said wiggling her eyebrows and slipping into the great hall. James took a deep breath and then went in. His mind was going crazy.


	3. Heads dorms

**White Paper**

**Chapter 3**

The redhead temper was showing quite dominantly in Lily today and James knew someone was going to get it; they were going to get it bad. The genius, he was guessing it was Sirius but he wouldn't tell her that, who told peeves about paint balls. He just hoped he wasn't there when it happened.

"Er, Lily where are we going?" James asked the angry Lily who looked sort of funny covered in different colour paint from head to toe.

"To get cleaned up in our dorm, where else?" She said as if it was the most obvious thing. Maybe to her, thought James.

"Ah so im guessing you know where they are?" asked James. Lily stopped and turned around to face James.

"Er…um…well I think they are this way." Lily said pointing down the corridor uncertainly. James just laughed. "What are you laughing at?" Lily demanded. She was covered in paint and her hair was starting to set, she was not in the mood for jokes.

"THE Lily Evans not knowing something. Plus the fact I know something you don't." James said with a rather large grin. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"So are you going to lead the way oh knight in shinning armour?" Lily asked politely.

"On one condition…" James said sneakily

"And what may that be?"

"I get to carry you across the threshold" James said dramatically getting down on one knee. Lily grinned at James and went along with it.

"Whatever pleases his highness." Lily said curtsying then bursting out with laughter. "What would I do without you patch." Lily said as they made their way in the opposite direction.

They came to a plain midnight black painting and Lily looked curiously at James.

"Why are you looking at me like that Lela?" James asked.

"Why is it black?" she asked curiously. James rolled his eyes.

"You aren't very smart are you Lela?" James said shaking his head.

"Hey! You said yourself the other night I was a nerd!" Lily said eyebrows creased. James laughed again.

"I was just kidding, calm down. Now, the portrait will paint itself into something to do with our password we set." James said.

"Oh" was all Lily could say. "That's - smart."

"Yes I thought so as well. Okay so I was thinking maybe something like

"James Potter - hottest man ever known" yeah?" James said seriously. Lily pretended to look in deep concentration.

"I don't think so, how about, "Lily extraordinaire"?" Lily said nodding her head.

"How about no. how about -" James was cut off suddenly by the painting.

"Can you two stop being so immature and pick something!" the painting said sternly at them. Lily and James stared at each other.

"How about "midnight"?" Lily asked shrugging her shoulders. James nodded.

"Midnight it is." The painting swirled and there was a picture of the night sky with thousands of stars, an almost full moon and moonlight tinting the water grey and a stag drinking in the water. The painting then swung open admitting them into their new heads room.

"I could get use to this" said James jumping onto the squashy looking couch. Lily smiled and looked around at the room. It looked just like their old common room but smaller and with only two doors for rooms.

"Im going to inspect our room" Lily said, just as she was about to step out of the doorway James stopped her.

"Wait!" he yelled and she stopped looking scared. James ran over to her and picked her up bridal style. "Remember?" he said with a smile. Lily just grinned and put her arms around James's neck.

"Lets inspect our dorms shall we then" Lily said. "Onwards!" Lily pointed towards her dorm. James opened the door into a light purple room with white painted daisies around the walls, a double bed, desk and wardrobe. There was a door going out onto the veranda and one into the bathroom.

"Oh its so -" Lily was cut off by James

"Boring, yes I know. Lets go check out my room!" James said and ran over to his with Lily still in his arms. Lily just laughed at his antics. James kicked open his room and let Lily down. His was exactly the same yet red and gold and a much more masculine taste.

"This is more like it." James said spreading out on his bed. Lily laughed and joined him.

"I hope we stay like this forever." Lily said quietly just staring at the ceiling.

*flashback*

A 13 year old Lily wept under an old oak tree with James comforting her.

"James! I just can't do it anymore" Lily sobbed into James's shoulder.

"James I can't lie! We have to tell them." she looked up at James who was looking over the lake in the dark night.

"But we can't Lily. you have no idea what my dad would do. My mum might not mind but my dad… my dad…" he trailed off. Lily just shook her head.

"You don't get it do you patch?" Lily said upset.

"What is it I don't get Lela? Come on, tell me, what is it I don't get." James said angrily.

"That they might actually be okay with it?" she said as if it was the most obvious thing ever. "do you not believe in you family at all?"

"No, Lela, no I don't." he said sadly. Lily realised she wasn't going to win this argument tonight.

"Then promise me this." Lily said and James nodded his head for her to go on. "We will always be friends no matter what happens and that you'll think about it."

"I promise to always be your best friend." James said with a small smile.

"And I will think about it, but it wont change anything you know." Lily let out a sigh.

"I know but at least you think about it." Lily said. "Thanks patch"

"No problem Lela."

*end of flashback*

Lily then burst out laughing at the memory. James moved away.

"What on earth?" James said.

"Oh Patch. Don't ever leave okay." Lily hugged James. James just laughed at the strangeness of his Lela. His heart beat faster when she hugged him, he hoped that she didn't realise.

"We should really get cleaned up shouldn't we." Lily said getting off the bed and looking down at her multi-coloured self. James sighed in relief and nodded

"That is probably a good idea." Said James getting into a sitting position.

"Lets have a bath then." Lily said.

"Together?" James said with raised eyebrows. Lily hit him on the shoulder and shook her head.

"Ha. Ha. No in out own bathrooms. You did realise we got one each?" Lily said walking out of the room.

"Well I do now." James yelled out and went to go have a shower.

*Flashback*

A fourteen year old Lily was glaring at James and James was looking very scared right in the middle of the common room. No one was there at that point in time but anyone could walk in and their cover would be blown.

"Where are you going patch?" Lily asked James at one full moon.

"I'm going out, please Lela just trust me okay?" James pleaded.

"Come on, I don't like lying Patch, you have been doing this a lot lately. Why can't you just tell me?" Lily demanded.

"Look Lily, I'm so sorry I just cant tonight okay. Can we talk about it  
tomorrow?" James pleaded one more time. The fact James had used Lily's real name made her back off.

"Fine James." Lily said as she stormed off to her dorm. "But you cant hide it forever. Just like our friendship." James shook his head and headed out of the common room knowing that what Lily said was nothing but the truth.

*End of Flashback*

James let the water wash over him. Lily was right; they couldn't keep this a secret forever. Someone would find out. And he had n idea what his father would do to him...or Lily for that matter. He turned the water off and wrapped a towel around him as Sirius, Remus and peter all burst into his room.

"Prongs mate." Sirius said with arms wide. "What were you doing keeping this from us? We, your closest bestest friends who shall be living in here as well!" Sirius said jumping onto James's bed. James groaned.

"Great guys, just great." he then heard squealing from next door. Tilly, Nicole, Sophie and Chloe were here as well.

***

"Oh - My - Gosh!" squealed Sophie as she landed on my bed. "I love your room!" I just gave them a grin.

"Wait, there is just one test" said Tilly with a glint in her eye. Before any of us could stop her she had jumped onto my bed and was jumping up and down. "Yep its pretty great. and with James next door you could pretty much do whatever you want without getting in trouble." she said now sitting on the still bouncing bed. Lily shook her head at her. Just like Tilly to think about what she could get away with...how Slytherin.

"Well it's more like we wont get into trouble doing anything with these two guys as heads." Chloe said spreading herself out onto the floor.

"Don't have the bravery to live up to your house standard ay Chlo?" challenged Tilly.

"Guys let's not fight" Said the ever so smart Nicole. I just laughed.

"Ah guys we are going to have to have lots of sleepovers. This is our last year." I said to them plonking myself next to a wall.

"Oh defiantly, actually I'd be surprised if you don't see us here every other day as well." said Sophie. Lily didn't know what she would do without her friends. Looking at them talking on her bed she hoped nothing changed. But Lily was smart enough to know that that was not going to happen, they were going to grow up one day and some of them were going to be lost in the battle.

"Guys, just promise me, that if you ever want to leave you say good-bye?" Lily looked at her shocked friends

"Lily what makes you say- " Chloe began but something in Lily's eyes stopped her

"Just promise me." She said again, almost pleading. Chloe, Nicole, Sophie an Tilly all got off the bed and gave Lily a hug

"We wont leave you Lils." Lily smiled, she hoped it was true.

**A/N hey all, sorry this has taken so long but yeah so much has been happening. i just started school again, my sister got married, exams but i shall be uploading more frequently now. oh and i have changed james's nickname from Jap to Patch because it affended some people. so yes :D**

**Love,  
Walking_on_a_dream**


	4. The Rumor and its Consiquences

DISCLAIMER: not mine.

**WHITE PAPER  
chapter 4**

Lily was sitting in the middle of a lush green meadow, no cares in the world ...because nothing mattered in that lush green meadow. It was perfectly quiet except for the beeping noise. Wait, what? What beeping noise? Why is it getting louder? Lily tried to swat it away but no it just kept getting louder.

"JAMES POTTER!!! Shut that stupid alarm up right now!" Lily yelled somehow still half asleep. The beeping went, Lily sighed peace at last. Drifting off again Lily was awoken again by the sound of beeping from James's room. Lily groaned and got out of bed taking her pillow with her. He wanted to wake up; fine she would wake him up. Lily stormed into James's room and hit him over the head with a pillow. James woke with a start and looked at Lily who had a smug smile on her face.

"Since your alarm obviously wasn't doing the job I thought I would help." Lily said smiling. She turned to leave when she heard James's voice.

"You have no idea what you have got yourself into Lela" James said and before Lily knew it a pillow was pelted at her. Lily turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"Just you wait Mr Patch." Lily said suddenly running towards him whacking her pillow all over James. Coming out of his state of shock he did the same to Lily. Both were laughing so loud they weren't aware of what was going on around them.

"Well, well, well, isn't this a pretty sight." Sirius black commented on the scene. they both stopped what they were doing and look at the Sirius and Tilly standing there with eyebrows raised at them and the mess they had made. Lily let out a nervous giggle.

"Oops?" Lily supplied. James just raised his eyebrows back at them.

"Why are you here?" James asked curiously.

"Well we came to get you guys for breakfast but it seems that you two were having to much fun anyway." Tilly said with raised eyebrows and a growing smirk.

"Shut up Tilly." Lily said annoyed at her. "Come on help me get ready." Lily said dragging her out of James's room into her own. As soon as the door was shut Tilly rounded on Lily.

"If I did know any better I would say you liked Potter." Tilly said and Lily sighed in response, They had been through this before many a times.

"Haven't we been through this before?" Lily asked putting her robes on and doing her hair at the same time.

"Yes, but I was just making sure it all remained the same." Tilly said and Lily laughed.

"Okay let's just go." They left the room to enter silence, Sirius and James had obviously left yet. Just as they were walking out a photo caught her eye. It was an autumn's day and the leaves were just falling and there in the middle was a younger James and Lily with their arms around each others shoulders laughing. Lily smiled at the day. She couldn't think of a better time.

"Okay let's stop living in the past Lils we have some stuff to talk about." Tilly said dragging Lily down to the hall.

***

Lily was in such a daze down to the hall she didn't notice both the urgency in Tilly's pull and all the people staring at her whispering. She saw James and was about to walk over to him when the rest of the gang, Nicole and Sohpie, turned up in front of her and pulled her in the opposite direction.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked them incredibly

"No Lils, the question is what are you doing?" Nicole said as they pushed her into an empty classroom.

"Okay Lily, tell us." Said Nicole simply

"Yes, can you please?" Lily replied

"Come on Lily everyone knows, we just want to hear it from your mouth." Tilly said annoyed.

"I have no idea what you are talking about" Lily said seriously. Sophie jumped up from where she was sitting and smiled.

"HA! I told you it wasn't true! It was just a silly little rumor" she said smugly

"Well we never said the _whole_ thing was true." Said Tilly obviously disappointed.

"Hello…im still here and wondering what's going on?" Lily said getting a little annoyed at her friends.

"Okay Lily how are you feeling today? Happy and calm?" Sophie asked attentively.

"I feel great can you just get on and tell me." Lily said getting annoyed.

"That's a lie, I say we don't." Nicole said quickly.

"You bloody well better." Said Lily icily

"Okay please don't do anything rash," said Sophie quickly but from the glare she got from Lily she moved on "There are a few rumors going around about you and James's relationship." Said Sophie quietly

"Rumors?" Lily said slowly

"Yes, well that the ghosts saw you and James quite close yesterday and the fact you were late for the feast they were suggesting you were…well your imagination can think up the rest." Said Tilly

"That James and I are in a relationship?" Lily said obviously missing the last part.

"Yes." Said Tilly slowly, there was a long pause where no one spoke waiting for Lily's reaction, Lily just flopped onto a desk.

"What's up Lily, why do you look so tried and…messy?" asked Nicole.

"Pillow fight." Supplied Tilly without looking away from Lily with concerned eyes

"Ah well you can go out into public like that." said Sophie as she took out her wand and fixed her hair and makeup.

"Where is Chloe?" Lily suddenly asked. All the girls looked at each other. Whoops.

***

The girls walked into the great hall just as Sophie saw them she walked straight up to them

"And why Lily Evans did you not tell me you were going out with James Potter?" Chloe demanded quite loudly. Lily sent her a pleading look but she obviously did not understand it. Oh dear what was she meant to do now? Lily thought to herself. She sighed. Time for my acting skills

"Yuck, why would I go out with an arrogant pig like him?" Lily spat. Chloe looked confused, she wasn't the smartest one.

"But the rumors…"

"Yes the rumors are not true. Don't know why anyone would even want to go out with someone like him" she said. It was then Chloe caught on and her eyes grew wide realizing what she had done.

"Oh. Sorry Lils, I don't know why I ever thought that." Chloe said trying to cover up her mistakes. Chloe never was a very good actor. Lily reframed from rolling her eyes and just smiled.

"That's okay, lets just eat, im starving!" Lily said sitting herself down in the nearest available seat. The girls just shook their heads at Lily.

"Spreading rumors about us ay Evans?" James spat as he looked across at Lily.

"As if I would ever even consider going out with the likes of you and your arrogant, selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed self" Lily spat right back.

"Yeah like I'd ever touch a 'Princess' like you" James retorted; this routine was something they had practiced for a while when they feared that one day there friendship would be discovered. "You're the self absorbed one Evans. You think the world revolves around you just because you have the school wrapped around your finger and those four hovering around you all the time... But I for one am not one of those who subscribe to the Lily Evans fan club" he said relived that Professor Wilbert was on his way over.

"Well-" Lily started

"What is going on here?" The professor asked.

"Just some rumors that needed clearing up" James said before Lily could get in. the professor raised an eyebrow.

"Right, well I need to see you both in my office now for heads business." He said looking between the pair. He turned around and James and Lily both got up to leave.

"Okay, explain." Said the professor to the two teenagers in front of him when they had closed the door to his office.

"Well there were these rumors going around that Lily and I were going at it in the heads room and-"James was cut off

"Oh come off it, you just called her Lily at your own will." He said with raised eyebrows. "You do realise if your father found out James…"

"Yes I know, I know the consequences" James replied stiffly.

"Well sir you see, James and I have been friends for a while now and what the ghosts saw was us just being friends and everyone just concluded that patch and I were, well, something else." Lily supplied

"I see, well from here on in I am setting you punishment to work and spend time together. Tell your parents you have to." He said getting up and the two got up as well. "Oh and I also love chocolate frogs." He said with a smile. "oh and one last thing, patch?" he asked. James glared at Lily.

"It's my nickname." He said grudgingly.

"Say no more, okay off to class."

"Thank you professor!" Lily said as she walked out of the office with James. Lily sighed.

"It was nice to put our I-Hate-You act into play finally." James said with a laugh.

"But don't you see Patch, we have to be even more careful now. Everyone already has the idea in their head so it's all that much harder to be friends." She said sadly. James just grinned

"Ah but no one knows about our midnight trips or our little love nest." He said sneakily. Lily raised an eyebrow

"Love nest?" she said with laughter behind her voice. James just continued to grin.

"Ay my fair maiden our love nest dorms." James replied. Lily just laughed.

"alright then, our love nest."

**

"Well, I say, today was one big affair." James said and he dropped into the double couch next to Lily.

"It was the most tiring thing ever! And I've been sneaking around seeing you at midnight for the last seven years!" Lily replied turning the page of her new book not even bothering to meet James's eyes.

"But let me tell you Lela Evans, you were amazing, almost believe you meant it."

"What's to say I didn't?" Lily challenged making eye contact this time.

"Well the fact that you and the rest of Hogwarts love me to much could be one point," James replied arrogantly

"Vain" Lily supplied

"And you know it"

Lily just smiled into her book; this is what she loved about James, the little pointless fights they had. Their friendship was just fun.

"Actually you weren't to bad yourself - I would have believed it had we not been best friends for the past 7 years." Lily said flipping the page of her book "I mean I cant believe people would think of us as an item - can you even imagine that." Lily shook her head and continued reading. James didn't reply. James opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. He coughed.

"Yeah…really bad." Lily was to preoccupied to notice the change in James's voice. Before James could dwell on the past to much a red envelope was flying through the window straight towards James.

"oh no." was all that could escape James's mouth, it was all it took for Lily's head to snap up from her book as well. Lily opened her mouth to speak by the envelope beat her to it.

"JAMES HENRY POTTER!" James flinched at the sound of his infuriated father's voice.

"I AM VERY DISAPOINTED IN YOU, BEFRIENDING A MUGGLE OF ALL THINGS! HAVE I NOT TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING? I JUST GOT A LETTER FROM A STUDENT THERE SAYING YOU AND THIS, THIS MUGGLE BORN ARE AN ITEM. I FORBID YOU FROM HAVING ANYTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH HER. DO NOT BRING SHAME INTO OUR FAMILY JAMES POTTER, IF HEAR YOU'VE GONE NEAR HER I'LL CUT YOU OFF. YOUR GRANDFATHER IS LIVID. PUREBLOOD AND MUGGLE BLOOD DO. NOT. MIX!

IF I HEAR THAT THIS RELATIONSHIP HAS CONTINUED I WILL BE COMING OVER THERE AND DRAGGING YOU FROM SCHOOL BY YOUR EARS AND FORCING SO MANY BEZOARS DOWN YOU THROAT THAT THIS SPELL YOU'RE UNDER WILL BREAK. I DON'T CARE HOW PRETTY OR SMART OR GOOD AT QUIDITTCH SHE IS. TAKE A COLD SHOWER AND STAY AWAY. SAY THIS PHRASE OVER LIKE A MANTRA...

PUREBLOODS AND MUGGLE BLOOD DO NOT MIX!

With the last word the envelope burst into flames leaving a shocked looking James and an mouth opened Lily.

"Nice to see how calm, cool and collected your father is." Lily said calmly "and that he is blowing it out of proportion!" Lily finished pushing her hands up in the air and slouching back into the couch. James was still staring at the place the letter had burst into flames.

"yes, my dad had always been full of some other substance. Don't take anything he said to heart, he's an idiot."

"No it's not that it's just, well, it just means it's going to be hard to be friends, that's all," Lily said, staring at where the howler had been her eyes filled with hurt.

"I don't care what he says I'm going be your best friend anyway."

Lily smiled and looked at him, he always amazed her. He seemed so unaffected by everything around him and it made her feel stable and almost safe. She couldn't understand how things never seemed to get to him- she was always the sensitive one but he was almost untouchable.

"Well im glad my father doesn't know how to use owls that's for sure. So my letter wont be here for a few days if anyone sent him anything" Lily said relaxing into her couch once more.

"you do realise what this means Lela?" James asked seriously. Lily shook her head "the small chance we had of telling our, my, parents went from little to nothing."

"Calm down patch everything will be alright" Lily said trying to calm James, apparently, it was the wrong thing to say.

"Calm down - calm down? Why show I calm down?" James yelled getting up from his seat.

"Don't be ridiculous patch." Lily tried once more but no avail.

"I'M NOT RIDICULOUS I'M ANGRY. THEY'RE THE RIDICULOUS ONES. WHY DID WE THINK THIS YEAR WOULD BE ANY DIFFERENT!" with that James stormed out of the common room. Lily sighed and decided to let him cool off for a bit then go find him in his favourite spot by the lake.


	5. Exploding Snap With a Bang: Part 1

DISCLAIMER: its allllll JK :( I know, I'm sad too.

**White Paper  
Chapter 5 **

James sat on a high rock hidden by the trees that surrounded the lake. It was his spot and it was where he sat when his mind was racing. His dad, his family, her dad, her family and the whole school were never going to accept them as friends. They weren't even friends in public and things still, somehow, got out of hand.

A niffer was playing around with one of the swallows and James couldn't help but smile at the odd friendship. No one judged them, no one told them they couldn't be like that. Lily's words came to memory "It's our choice not theirs, we shouldn't let them take over our lives like that. One day when their gone we are going to have to fight for ourselves and if we are never given the chance we wont know what to do when the time comes." The niffer and the bird were having a great time playing. If they didn't care why should they.

"Who would have thought I would be jealous of a niffer and a bird." James laughed.

"Why are you jealous of them?" Came the distant voice of Lily Evans.

"Other than the fact that I'm sitting here doing nothing and they're having a great time?" Lily laughed

"They can be friends and no one cares or gives a second thought?" James sighed

"Yes." James lay on his back looking at the stars.

"Maybe...maybe if we tell they we are JUST friends they would take it a bit better..." Lily trailed off as James shook his head

"No, we have to come up with another plan." Sitting up he grinned "I have a great Idea...lets move to Spain." Lily laughed

"As if, be serious Patch,"

"I am! lets do it. It would totally work." Lily picked her self off the ground and stared angrily at James

"Can you, for once in your life, be serious please!" She said, annoyance clearly in her voice. James got up and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Okay I know running away would be the worst thing to be but we should be allowed to be friends at least." Lily lay back on the ground and stared up at the sky. James' eyebrows furrowed "You always look at the sky when you sad or annoyed." Lily rolled her eyes

"Nice spotting Patch, you deserve a prize," Sarcasm clearly in her voice.

"Why?"

"I suppose because it's always going to be there. No matter where you are the sky and the stars will come out and remind you that the people you love are under the same sun, moon and stars as well." Lily said in a light tone. James raised an eyebrow

"How many romance novels have you read exactly." James asked and Lily hit his shoulder playfully.

"Never mind," Lily got up and started climbing the large beech tree.

"What are you doing Lela?" He asked her confusedly.

"What do you think?" she said now sitting on one of the branches "I am climbing this tree because my _father_ said I wasn't to climb tree bigger than a twig." She said and James just laughed at her determined face "Would you laugh if I told you your howler gave me hope, hope that maybe we could be friend openly?"

James opened his mouth to reply that she had gone crazy when Lily swung her legs to hard and fell off into the lake with a splash. It happened in a second, James had taken off his shirt and dived into the lake in seconds as the screams of Lily echoed into the quite night. He found her and pulled her up to the surface with only one thought going through his mind "what if she dies?".

Pulling both his and her bodies onto the bank was hard enough. Coughing up some water he struggled over to Lily's body. As weak as he was he lifted a shaky finger to her throat to find a pulse and when he couldn't even hear a heart beat when he put his ear to her chest he was set in panic mode. He thought back to the muggle tv shows Lily had made him watch where the guy had performed CPR and tried to imitate it. Taking a deep breath he lifted her head slightly, opened her delicate mouth and breathed into it, her lips felt soft and wet and when he came back up he put his ear by her mouth only to feel no breath. He repeated this sequence three times before Lily had finally began to cough up water and opening her eyes ever so slightly, she rolled on to her stomach.

Relief flooded him but was stopped when he found himself upside down by the ankle. Soph was storming towards him with her wand pointed right at James' heart.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING POTTER!" she yelled at him, James just rolled his eyes

"Saving her life." he said.

"So being soaking wet and kissing her counts as saving her life?" she asked leaning down over Lily.

"I was saving her life, you know CPR?" Soph raised an eyebrow

"Didn't want to perform _evnerate_?" James blushed and mumbled something about completely forgetting about it. "Look James, I know you say you hate Lily but I know you don't but kissing her is going way to far." James opened his mouth to say that isn't what he was doing but Lily's weak voice cut him off.

"Sophie, what happened?" Lily said trying to get up.

"According to James here, you fell into the lake and he saved your life but I'm not so sure." Sophie said sending James a glare and James just raised an eyebrow challengingly.

"I'm so cold." She whispered, her lips turning blue. Soph whispered the conter spell and James fell to the floor.

"Thanks for the warning!" he said sarcastically.

"Quit complaining and help me take her up to the dorms." James nodded and picked Lily up.

"You have one minute to explain yourself" Sophie asked James. Sighing james replied

"I was walking along the water's edge when I saw her fall into the water...I didn't want her to die." James said.

"Look James, I wont tell Lily but you can't hide it for me...you care for her and disliking her is your only way of showing it." Sophie's voice softened "She might like you to James, you just have to try"

"You don't understand Sophie, take you nose and put it in other places." Sighing Soph stood up to leave

"I'm watching you Potter." When the door closed James started stroking Lily's head

"How could someone be so right?" James whispered. Lily stirred in her sleep and James sat himself in the other couch and started reading. Lily hadn't had a weirder dream in her life.

***

Lily sat on her window seat watching the leaves fall off the trees and sighed. The only thing that would cover the rumour up would be for another bigger rumour to come in. Matthew Anderson, a sixth year, and Olivia Bickersteth, a fourth year, had been caught in a broom closet doing a lot more than just making out and were waiting to see what the punishment was going to be. Jumping down the stairs to the great hall Lily walked to her table hoping to find her friends. When she entered through the doors she saw her friends Haley o'tool and Ela Thomas and to her surprise Nicole, Tilly, Sophie and Chloe were sitting at the table as well.

"Hey guys," She said sitting down and pouring herself a glass of juice

"Good morning Lils," Ela said in a distant voice. A responding 'hi' was heard from everyone else and Lily pulled off her coat and picked up her glass.

"Oo, love the coat! Perfect for autumn!" Haley exclaimed, she was always one for fashion. "Autumn is always your best fashion season." She said flicking her hair behind her shoulders.

"I thought I was autumn!" Chloe said. Haley pat she on the shoulder and shook her head.

"No dear, your spring,"

"Oh," was all Chloe said.

"Anyway, have you heard?" Haley said leaning forward. Tilly lifted her eyebrow

"If you're talking about Anderson and Bickersteth...yes," She said with a roll of her eyes.

"Well, I heard he has to go a trial." She said

"Are you serious." Lily asked alarmed.

"Deadly." She said with a completely straight face "I heard the Sam said that Rachel said that Elly said that Matthew Anderson said he was under the influence of a love potion and he didn't realise what he was doing! But the other day Rachel swore she saw him looking at Olivia's boobs between class the other day and he was practically drooling and if he wasn't under the influence then I don't know what he is talking about-" she stopped suddenly and everyone looked around at her to see where she was looking and the only thing that would stop her gossiping would be, and sure enough Sirius Black had just walked into the great hall "Anyway I'll catch you later!" and off she went.

"Well, thank goodness that's over." Nicole said resting her head on the table just as the Hufflepuff Hunter twins walked over with sneaky grins on their faces.

"Hello everyone!" John Hunter greeted

"I hope we are all looking forward to tonight?" Nikki Hunter said while pulling her hair into a ponytail. Lily sent her a confused look

"Huh? what's happening tonight?"

"Lily!" John said "How could you forget!" then it dawned on her...tonight was Halloween which meant:

"Oh its the Annual Exploding Snap Competition"

"Yep" everyone coursed.

"I knew you were more than a pretty face Lils." John said the proceeded to turn very red. Nikki sat down with the girls and laughed with them, they all knew John had a think for Lily.

"What do you say we make this years competition a lot more interesting?" Lily said leaning in.

"Exactly what we were thinking Lils." Nikki said.

"...and since we are this years organisers we have decided that there is a prize for a winner, a pot of money. It's gonna cost a gallon to enter."

"You are such a greedy little boy!" Nicole said giving him a push "You have won for the past two years so you just want-"

"A little more competition" He cut Nicole off giving her a grin. Nicole rolled her eyes.

"You just want to win the money!" Lily said with laughter in her eyes. She wondered it she dared make a bit of a move; be forward. But before she could decide she heard herself say. "If you wanted a challenge you would try and beat me at a lap around the lake!"

"You know I how I hate to run Lils but...if you enter tonight I will race you."

"You have yourself a deal John Hunter." Lily said with a smile. Tilly choked on her drink, Lily didn't play snap...ever. Tilly grinned, she had a cunning idea, the reason she was in Slytherin no doubt

"Hey John I bet Lily here will beat you at the finals and win." Nikki laughed.

"No one beats my brother."

"Bet she will." Chloe said with a grin. Nikki raised an eyebrow

"Okay then, if you think she is so clever...If Lily gets to the final and loses she has to snog the winner." Nikki said with a grin.

"Hey!" Lily said, she had not consented to that one."Sure I would kiss him, but not in front of the whole school!"

John grinned, he didn't mind this bet at all.

"Well then, if John loses he has to dance to the winners choice of song in front of the whole school for breakfast the next day." Chloe said.

"Hey wait just a moment here..." John panicked, that would be quite humiliating.

"I don't know what I would enjoy more..." James said, having listened to the whole converstation as he was sitting next to Sophie "John or Lily losing or the bets after...either what you both humliate yourselves and its going to be fun to watch."

"Sorry to disapoint you Potter," Lily spat "No spectators allowed." she said. James grinned and leaned across the table.

"No worries Evans, I'll be playing too." and he threw two gallons at John. Lily rolled her eyes.

"You idiot Potter, it's only one gallon." Lily told James' retreating back. He turned around and smiled.

"I know, that's your entrance fee too." and with that, he left. Lily glared at the doors and this time she didn't have to act.

"I'm not poor!" she said and stabbed her breakfast. Sophie patted Lily on the shoulder.

"I think it was more of a 'I have so much money that I can afford to pay for you' kinda thing Lily." Sophie said and Lily just nodded, she hated that James could just do that, that he could buy whatever he wanted whenever he wanted.

***

Back in the Heads common room James and Lily were just leaving after an intense afternoon of practice they headed down to the great hall.

"Feeling Lucky Lela?" James asked as they walked down yet another corridor.

"Lucky? Try freaking out completely!" Lily said looking quite sick "If I win I have to snog the winner...in front of the whole school!" Lily said.

"Yeah, but if you win we get to see whats-his-face do a dance" James said with a laugh and smirked "and that I wouldn't want to miss out on." Lily rolled her eyes "You better beat him..." he paused "although it could be fun watching you snog him" James ruffled Lily's hair, being a head taller than her it was quite a brotherly thing to do.

"You better shut your trap Patch or you might regret it very soon." Lily said stepping away from him and fixing her hair.

"Sorry, If it makes you feel better I don't think either of you will win."

"Ouch. Thanks for the confidence," She said sarcastically.

"Gees girl, make up your mind. One minute you're going to win and the other you're going to lose!" James laughed.

Candles and pumpkins were hanging everywhere and on the tables were packets and packets of cards and Lily smiled, she loved when they did the great hall up.

"So Lily, ready for a snog?" John said with a grin, ignoring James completely. James rolled his eyes and went off to find his friends.

"Are you read to dance and sing because when I win...that's what you'll be doing." Lily said in a flirty manner. John laughed and led Lily to the table.

"Just you wait Lily just you wait." John said.

"Okay everyone, listen up!" Nikki said catching everyone's attention "There will be one on one games. The competitors have been split in half and if you look on the back wall there are two pieces of parchment with everyone's name on and their group. You'll be split into 'ones' and 'twos' the winner of each game will be put trough and the looser will be removed from the competition. There will be one student looking at each game to ensure that no cheating is involved."

"At the Semi-final the two winners will go head to head for the cash prise. At the sound of the buzzer you will find you're name and when everyone is seated a second buzzer will sound to tell you to begin the first game- then before a third round is started the buzzer will sound again and so on." Nikki explained in a very business like tone, which put Lily's head girl voice to shame.

"Rules are, no cheating, no offensive language, no provocative language, no physical assault, no duels, no causing harm to any other competitor or referee- if any of these are committed then you will be removed and disqualified and punished according to servility of the crime." John called out. Then with a grin he yelled out "So without further ado...Let the games begin." And the buzzer went off.


	6. Exploding Snap With a Bang Part 2

DISCLAIMER: chapter 1...

**White Paper  
Chapter 6 **

James' mind was filled with nothing but snap. His head was in the game and he was going to win even if it was just to stuff it in the idiot of a person John Hunter. The room smelt strongly of gun powder by half way through and the crowds weren't thinning. When someone lost they stayed around to cheer on the person they lost to. Other than the Slytherins, most of them had left already.

Looking around he noticed people like Sirius turning on the charm to win against Chloe. John was the worst, every time he went against a girl he would chat her up therefore successfully distracting her and winning the game. That was cheating! Although he couldn't blame them without blaming Lily, she flirted so much it even made James blush. It seemed like a popular tactic that he had to be wary of.

As the night wore on, and the number of defeated students grew with each round, the hall started to feel crowded. While the table were being moved about to make the games easier for the crowd to see, he noticed that Remus had lost to Nicole and she had given him a kiss on the cheek for trying, Remus was bright red.

Then suddenly without warning there were only three couples left and the draw for who met who in the matches were made. Surprisingly, the people competing for the semi-finales were him, Lily, John, Nikki, Amos and Tilly. Nikki and John got up to announce the couples that would be competing. Nikki and John had won every round making them go straight into the semi finals, it was now to see who they would be playing. The hall was silent.

"Tilly and Lily will play each other" Everyone cheered and Tilly and Lils grinned at each other.

"Leaving Potter and Amos" Everyone cheered loudly. It was commonly known that James Potter and Amos Diggery did _not_ get along. Sitting down at their tables James sneered at Amos

"Ready to lose Diggery?" He said with a confident smirk.

"Yes Potter I am..." James looked confused, then Amos grinned "Ready to lose you to the audience. While I go on to play someone actually worth my time." Sniggers and high fives rippled around the hall like a wave. James sent him a glare.

"Well then," A smirk reappeared on his face "Guess we're going to have to see about that." And the game began. The only thing on James' mind was to win, and win he was going to do. The game was fast and the match seemed to go on for ages. Some were cheering for James others for Amos. He had one card left. If their cards didn't match they would have to draw again. Looking up he saw Amos had one card as well. He then realised what he would have to do. As if in slow motion Albus put his card down and with closed eyes James yelled

"SNAP!" If the cards didn't match James had just lost the game. Opening his eyes he looked down, they matched. James Grinned and raised his eyebrows at Amos.

"Great game." and he patted him on the shoulder. Amos was still looking at the cards.

"But - He cheated! He didn't see my card! I demand a re-match." Amos said standing up. James rolled his eyes,

"Actually _diggery_ if you took the time to read the rules that comes with every pack you would see that you can snap anytime you want, you only lose if you snap at the wrong time. That my friend," he sneered at Amos "was a risk," He smirked, enjoying the look on Amos' face more and more every second "I was willing to take!"

"John! Please tell me he cheated." John shook his head sadly

"No, I'm afraid Potter's right, that's the rules, sorry mate." John said patting his friend on the back. Amos stormed off to his friends and crossed his arms, James rolled his eyes his childish ways. Nikki and John cleared their throats

"And now for the semi finals!" Nikki announced,

"Lily will be playing me." Nikki said with a grin. James realised that Lily had made it through, he caught Lily's eyes and grinned at her until he realised that that meant...

"And Potter will be playing me." John said as he aimed his smirk towards James. Walking toward James he called out. "Well, I'm just letting you know I've never lost a match Potter.

"You've never played me though." James said with a raised eyebrow as though there was no way in hell he was going to lose.

"I've never lost." John said again.

"Well," James said quietly "You know what they say, there's a first time for everything" John just ignored him and looked over to Lily.

"Lily, I hope you beat my sister, I am really looking forward to snogging you" John said with a grin. Lily strolled over and whispered in his ear causing shivers to go down his back.

"Good luck," she said and kissed his cheek then walked back to her spot across from Nikki. John turned to his cards in a daze and it was then James wanted to beat John more than he wanted to beat Amos.

The tension in the hall was thick as the players got ready. James knew John was confident in his abilities and everyone in the Hall thought he was the underdog. James knew they were wrong. He had won his way into the semi finals fair and square. The only thing keeping John going was Lily and if there was anybody he knew well, it was her. As the buzzer went off the game started. James was going to win, he didn't care what damage he did to get there but he was going to beat John Hunter.

Two decks of cards sat ruined on the side and James and John were going on their third when a resounding "SNAP" came from Lily's mouth. And how Lily celebrated...flirting with Samuel Davis. Lily was whispering something in his ear when he turned and whispered something in her ear in return. Lily giggled a very girly giggle and when James looked at John's face, he wasn't smiling anymore. James grinned, this was it.

"Evans is getting a bit cosy with Davis don't you think?" James said in a calm voice "then again she had like the idiot for a while now hasn't she." He said thoughtfully "Doesn't matter, I never did like her taste in guys anyway."

"That wont work Potter, Lily is more snog-in-a-deserted-corridor kinda girl, you know, the type of girl you go for everyday."

"Not that she is even up to that kind of thing," he said and that seemed to touch a nerve. This wasn't the James he usually was but he seemed to act like around guys like John, Amos and Samuel.

"Why are you even bothering?" John asked as they played, Lily was now watching the match with interest.

"Bothering about what?"

"Why bother going into the finals, it's not like you're going to win against Lily."

"And what gave you that impression Hunter?"

"Because she has to snog the winner and you hate her guts, why would you want that? give me a reason!" He said still concentrating on the cards

"I can give you 412 reasons Hunter," James said putting down another card.

"So it's the money then?" He said "Not Lily?"

"Why would I be interested in a redheaded Evans?"

"Well...that's what I thought but I'm being to have second thoughts..." John trailed off. James felt himself start to swear.

"How is that?"

"Your filthy rich Potter, what's 412 gallons to you?" John continued to explain putting another cards on top of James' "Or you could want to be names champion.

"Maybe Hunter, maybe,"

"But I don't see that one being it, maybe you have a little crush on Lily?"

"Me? Like a muggleborn? Who do you take me for?" James didn't feel as confident as he sounded but he knew he had to keep talking "But, even if I did, looks as thought we are both out of 'luck' she seems to have her eyes and heart set on Davis."

"I'm going to win you know." He said suddenly

"Then tell me this," James said leaning forward "Why are we on our forth deck and you have won yet?"

"Just warming up," he said his voice not a confident as it use to be.

"What are you thinking about?" James said

"Snogging Lily," He said smugly.

"That's pathetic you know." James shook his head "You know even if you did beat me, whose to say you're going to beat Lily?"

"I just know it."

"What if you're wrong? Are you going to stand that humiliation?" John didn't reply. Moving on to their fifth deck no one could believe they were _still_ playing.

"I can't believe you Hunter," James mumbled.

"Shut up!" John yelled

"I don't believe you would want Lily for a one off."

"Just shut the hell up Potter!" he yelled again.

"If you were Davis she would have given you a kiss on the lips for good luck."

"I said shut up Potter."

"okay then." James smirked "But one more thing."

John looked up "and whats that Potter?" James smirk grew

"Snap!" James grinned and the Hall erupted into cheers and John was looking at the cards shocked. He glared at James, he had just taken away his chance to kiss Lily. Everyone was happy except John, Nikki, Amos and Samuel. But James didn't care about them. Lily and James were staring at each other. As the cheers died down Lily unfroze.

"A word please." Lily said grabbing James' arm. "Just need to go over some rules with the head boy" Lily told everyone as they went over to the corner and James cast a spell that created a bubble that no one could hear what they were saying.

"What do you think you are doing!" Lily yelled at him

"What do you mean?" A confused James said.

"Why couldn't you just let him win?" She said annoyed. "You don't need the money-now we HAVE to play each other."

"As if I was going to let him win and inflate his head even more!" James said

"Well, it couldn't be bigger than yours" Lily retorted.

"What's the big deal anyway?"

"The big deal? _The big deal!!_" Lily raised her hands "If you win, there is the bet and I have to - you have to-" she trailed off not being able to say the words. James laughed

"Cool it Lela, it was if _John_ won he got to snog you."

"No, it wasn't patch! It was the winner!" James paled

"What no it..." He remembered the conversation and the smiled "Not to worry, I'll just let you win then!" Lily shook her head

"Oh no you wont, that is the most degrading thing you have ever said to me."

"I thought you didn't want to snog me!" James laughed

"Oh," Lily said "Yeah- right- let me win."

"Okay, that's the plan then." James nodded

As they left Lily whispered something to James through the corner of her mouth

"You better make this believable Potter!"

The crowd stared at them as they made the way to the table.

"Just give up now Evans, save yourself the embarrassment ay?"

"In your dreams Potter." Lily said with a smirk and when the buzzer went off they began to play.

By the third deck both Lily and James had forgotten about the audience and were in their own little world. Lily had a white quill behind her ear and, in contrast to her read hair, she looked beautiful. Tugging on her hair she put down her next card. James laughed.

"What?" Lily asked she asked pulling on her hair again.

"That!" James said putting down his next card

"I didn't do anything!" James laughed again

"Yes you did!" James said pulling on his own hair "Oh, and snap." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. The whole room was dead quiet, you could hear a quill drop.

"Potter wins!" Tilly yelled as if breaking the shock that covered the room like a blanket. Everyone cheered but Lily just stared at just with her jaw hanging low. James was staring at the cards as if they were going to jump up and bit him. What had he done?

"No, wait! that doesn't count!"

"Oh yes it does! and the bet clearly states.." Nicole said with a smirk when John cut through

"They are not kissing."

"If you didn't want me to kiss someone in front of the whole school why did you make the bet?" Lily asked quietly.

"Let's just get this over with." James said

"Okay Potter but keep your hands to yourself." He said. Sirius grinned up at James from the crowd and wiggled his eyebrows and James just rolled his eyes.

James and Lily walked up to the front of the hall, both extremely nervous. Lily was biting her lip, she was praying this didn't ruin their friendship, James was thinking along the same lines.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Lily whispered to James

"We can't get out of it and plus, what's a harmless kiss between friends?" James said trying to sound as if it didn't matter.

"Remember, it was snog the winner." Nicole said with a grin, Lily rolled her eyes

"Yes, I understood that Nic"

"You know it was technically-" James was cut off

"Get snogging already!" someone from the crowd yelled.

"Look, is this really necessary?" Lily said looking a Nikki who nodded sadly.

"This sucks! I win and I get punished." James said under his breath.

"Hey! there is nothing wrong with me" Lily said defensively.

"Of course not Lela it;s just you are my best friend and this could be awkward"

"I just hope our fathers don't get wind of this." Lily smiled quietly and James grinned back. A chorus of "Snog, snog, snog" was ringing through the hall and James grinned putting his hand on her waist and she did the same. Then James cupped her face and pulled her in for a kiss. When their lips touched James' whole body tingled, he wanted more. To his surprise Lily was kissing him back quite enthusiastically as well. He realised they kind of fitted, like two peas in a pod, he also realised he was thinking to much and went to deepen the kiss. The fact that he was enjoying the kiss scared him and excited him at the same time. Seven years of friends went into that kiss and suddenly he felt confused. His hands went into her hair and the feeling was beginning to take over, James pulled away. Lily opened her eyes.

Centimetres apart they just stared at each other, Tilly was staring open mouthed and Chloe was ginning from ear to ear. Nicole was looking between the two confused and sophie looked deep in thought. Lily came back to her sense and pushed James, hard. James stumbled

"Never do that again Potter." She yelled

"What? You think I would want to? No thanks sweetheart" James said wiping his mouth as much as he didn't want to.

"Stay away from me."

"Wouldn't have it any other way Evans." He hissed and left the hall. He didn't want to look back, he couldn't. Even though it was an act he felt guilty for saying those words.

Walking through the corridors James had one thing on his mind, Lily. Did he like her? He couldn't like her. Their familys, it was bad enough they were friends. They couldn't be together without starting a war bigger than the one brewing outside the walls already. He couldn't help the feelings he was feeling so he made up his mind _I have to get rid of the problem because running away doesn't solve anything. I have to get rid of Lily._

Come tomorrow he wouldn't be her friend anymore- in fact he wouldn't even be an acquaintance. Because come tomorrow he would do the one thing that would get rid of the source. He would avoid Lily and that was that. His mind was made up…


	7. Watch out

DISCLAIMER: first chapter...

**White Paper  
Chapter 7 **

Sophie paced in front of the couch Lily was sitting at in the empty Gryffindor common room.

"So when were you going to tell us?" Nicole said, she was sitting on the couch across from Lily's with her legs cross and a sad smile on her face. Chloe was sitting next to Lily looking guilty and Tilly was sitting on the armrest looking as if she would quite like to go to sleep.

"I mean, it's not as though none of us had guessed it, we are your friends after all," Sophie said, still pacing. "But that's not the point, why couldn't you have told us Lils?" Lily rubbed her face and looked up at them through the gaps of her fingers.

"Will you accept it if I say sorry?" she asked meekly. Tilly rolled her eyes and laughed, Nicole slumped into her chair and sophie stopped pacing.

"We wanted to hear it from your lips that's all." Tilly said, she had figured out there was something more since second year and was quite smug that she had figured it out so early. "But that also means you need to give us an explanation or we tell the rest of the school." Lily glared at Tilly. She never second guessed what house she came from.

"You are so Syltherin it's not funny Tils." Lily laughed.

"Also Lily, how was kissing James? It looked pretty heated." Chloe said with a smile, she had realised that Lily didn't mind her slipping up about the friendship to the rest of her friends. Lily blushed.

"It seemed, I don't know, really heated, like you'd t_ogether _for the last seven years, not friends," Sophie explained, running her fingers through her hair. "You are just friends right?" She asked a little un-sure.

"Of course we are friends!" Lily said definitely.

"But it sure didn't look like you were just friends so don't be surprised if there are any more rumours out tomorrow that you are secretly sleeping together or something along the lines of the other rumour." Nicole said adding to Sophie

"Well we are- and besides it's not like I had a lot of choice with you lot chanting 'Snog, snog, snog' over and over,"

"Hey that was Tilly and Chloe." Nicole said in her and Sophie's defence. Tilly grinned and sophie had a sheepish smile on her face, Lily just rolled her eyes.

"Come on then, tell us!" Chloe said with a smile.

"Tell you what?" Lily asked confused.

Tilly rolled her eyes "The kiss, what was it like!"

Lily opened her mouth, then closed it, she hadn't really thought about it. He was a good kisser, that was certain, well he was pretty great actually. He knew was he was doing, He knew how to hold a girl and there was a lot of passion in the kiss but James was a passionate person in general so that was no surprise. Blushing Lily couldn't believe she was thinking this about James...her best friend.

She didn't like the idea of kissing her best friend but in reality it had been good and that was one thing, it was to bad she didn't feel that way about him.

It was a shame really, She thought. If it had been Samuel it would have been a dream but it wasn't- it was just 'Patch' and that was a disappointment to say the least.

"It was weird, like kissing your brother. A good kisser, but weird." Lily said in a thoughtful tone

"So a good kisser?" Sophie asked "Well, he must be because we all know how _fussy_ you are." All the girls laughed at that comment.

"Well, he definitely knew what he was doing." she said then blushed at she she had just said about her friend.

"Did he now?" Nicole said with a smirk

"Look, can we not talk about this?" Lily said, the conversation was turning rather awkward for her.

"Alright then Lily Pily, for now...but details better come later." Chloe said "Now, the ball is coming up and..." All the girls groaned,

"It's ages away! February! We haven't even had CHRISTMAS!" Tilly said. She hated balls and Chloe had always made them go shopping, Tilly shuddered at the thought.

"I know but we have to be ready." Then Chole went on to explain what they had to do. Having heard this many times they all tuned out.

"Well as I already know what dress I want I am going to go to bed." Lily said getting out of her comfortable chair.

"Lily, that dress costs 412 gallons, as if you are going to get your parents to buy that!" Sophie said.

"Of course they will, they, It will be my christmas present." She said hopefully.

"Okay, okay, so who has dates?" Chloe asked.

"I'm going with Ed." Nicole said with a blush, she had liked Ed since 4th grade.

"I'm going with Sirius." Chloe said with a grin.

"John asked me." Lily said

"What? When?" Nicole asked

"Right after I kissed James. I told him I was flattered but the girls were to ask the guys. He seemed OK with it but I saw him making out with Vi 10 minutes later. So I can safely say, he recovered."

"Or it's just a rebound." Sophie put in "Anyway, I'm going with Angus, he also invited me to his brothers wedding..."

"What!" Tilly exclaimed.

"Woah, wait just a moment there, he invited you to a wedding?" Sophie nodded sheepishly.

"Yeah but we are just friends."

"Well you don't go to a wedding and a ball as 'just friends' Soph" Lily said with raised eyebrows.

"You don't snog your friends either Lily." Sophie snapped back. Lily remained quiet.

"I'm off see you tomorrow." Lily said and left. She thought about the kiss all night until she drifted off to sleep.

*****

The Saturday after the kiss dawned with a hot sun. And, as always, at this time of year, everybody's' mind turned to Quidditch. The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws had arranged their usual 'friendly match'.

Truth was, James Potter was not his usual "friendly" self since the kiss. It had confused him beyond belief. He'd lain awake that night and thought about it. He'd tried to rationalise it. He'd tried to forget it but nothing had helped. And now his only hope of release from the torture of reliving that kiss was to beat Samuel Davis at Quidditch.

Samuel Davis was up there with James Potter and Sirius Black as the most sort after male in the school. People say that this was the reason that James hated him but only a few knew it was because he was after Lily.

Each team was given warm up time but this match was going to be different. It as going to be friendly James Potter style.

Ravenclaw was a friendly house but for some reason the Quidditch team did not like Gryffindor's one bit. The feeling was mutual and those matches were almost as entertaining as Gryffindor against Slytherin.

The friendly style match usually included: showing off, insults, jeers, rude gestures. They weren't unheard of in Professional Quidditch but usually Davis and Potter took it way to far ending up in both of them in the hospital wing. It was always a fight with both seekers.

Everyone knew it was personal so it was always entertaining to watch the two evenly matched players. However, because of their tendency to end up in the Hospital Wing Professor Clark had taken to doing random pitch inspections. But this morning James didn't care if he was caught. He needed to blow off the steam that the kiss had stirred in him.

The match started and James wanted to blow off some steam by flying a few laps, Samuel had other ideas.

"We meet again Potter." Samuel commented lightly. James grunted and tried to speed up, Samuel keep pace. "You liked that kiss and you know it. Just admit it already, it's all an act!" He shouted from just behind James. "It doesn't matter, deserves better, she would never like the likes of you." James swung around.

"As if I would ever like a muggle-born. Get your fat head out of your arse Davis and have a look around. You are so ridiculous. " James laughed meanly.

"I'm warning you Potter." Samuel spat.

"It's the girl you should be saying this lovely speech to Davis, not me. I don't want anything to do with her."

"She wouldn't go near you with a 10 foot pole."

"And I wouldn't touch her so I don't get your problem." James just wanted to leave. He was over it. He didn't want to insult Samuel he just wanted out. To get anyway and wish it never happened. "I didn't even have a choice okay!" he said when Samuel didn't give up.

"You could have refused."

"It's not like it was a picnic you know?" And it wasn't. James had suffered a lot from some stupid snog. His whole mind seemed invaded and occupied today and for the most of last night.

He had had enough, he sped off fast letting the wind drown out Samuel's voice. Samuel sped after him tailing him in every twist and turn. They climbed and dived and spun together like they were tethered. The snitch totally forgotten. From the ground they looked like they were dancing in mid air. They moved so fast that on lookers could no longer distinguish between the boys. They became nothing but a red, blue, gold and brown blur.

Lily was watching transfixed. She had liked Samuel for a while and she had always liked watching the to play each other as they had so much in common and always played a brilliant game. But this was different. There was more in each move, it wasn't just playful anymore.

"Whats going on here?" Professor Clark called out thinking one of the frozen students would tell him. The match wasn't even going on. Everyone was transfixed with the seekers. Before anything could calculate in Lily's mind Clark had taken to the sky to get in between the two seekers. "Idiot," Lily muttered under her breath

rainbows of spells were going in every direction and because Professor Clark didn't actually think before leaving the ground he was hit by two spells falling to the ground where luckily the players caught him.

"What is going on here?" Professor Clark demanded when James and Samuel came down from the sky.

"N-n-nother sir," Samuel said

"Just a friendly match sir- that's all." James said calmly

"Friendly? That was far from friendly, when a Professor and two students end up injuring themselves with wands!" He bellowed at the both. "I've had it up to here with you two's constant arguing- if you want to bicker, get married." Both of the boys looked down in shame. "Why do you two have to be at each other's throats all the time?"

"At each others throats?" James asked feigning innocence.

"We don't know what you are talking about," Samuel chimmed.

"We were just having a laugh, we're best buds aren't we _Sam_" James said through gritted teeth.

"Of course," Samuel said joining in on the _we are best buds_ act.

"Oh I'm not that stupid, it may have worked last year,"

"And the other year," James said with a grin

"And the year before that," Samuel added

"But not this year, I wont put up with your trash, Detention, both of your, for a week!" Clark ordered crossing his arm daring them to say something.

"Detention!" Samuel cried

"For a whole week!" James continued

"You heard me, cleaning those trophies for Pringle every night at 7pm!" anger still clearly in his voice.

"Trophies!?"

"With Pringle!"

"TOGETHER FOR A WEEK!?" they yelled together.

"Yes! and if you don't want to make it two I suggest you be quiet!" He said waving his hands around speaking in his authority voice. "Mr Davis you come with me and I'll get you cleaned up- not that you deserve it- oh and Lily," Lily turned around sharply at the sound of his voice. "Take Mr Potter to the Head's Common Room, in the cabinet in your bathroom there will be healing potion- tend to his wounds, please," He asked, Lily nodded obediently, not noticing the sneer coming from her best friend at Samuel's back.

Lily realised that it was only because Professor Clark was already so angry he let her take James, Clark didn't like her or James and would not have let them be together.

Lily thought it very wise to let Clark and Sam go ahead. As they left Lily could hear Clark drone on and on about flying safety and rules. Then when it was safe Lily gave James a warm smile. James sneered at her then began to hobble along to the castle.

"Pa...Potter what are you doing?" Lily called out, hurt from the sneer he only gave her when in company of others.

"Just stay away from me Evans!" James shouted scaring away some of the stragglers.

Lily was stunned. There it was again, those words he said to her last night. At first she just thought he was grumpy from the match. She had tried to make light of the kiss and joke about it and say how it was such a great way to start a relationship and all he had said to her was "Leave me alone Evans" or "Stay away from me Evans."

It was starting to get to her and she hadn't want to stand for it then so she'd stood on his stairs and glared at him. He friends had come in to talk to her and she had wanted, no needed, to talk about the kiss but she knew she had to talk to James. She followed doggedly determined to talk this out with him. But he hadn't even looked at her as he shouted for her to leave him alone. She had thought that after he'd had some sleep and gotten accustomed to the fact that they'd snogged in front of the entire school then she'd slapped him, he'd be ok; but he wasn't. And again, he hadn't looked at her when he'd muttered to her when she was in the room. "Leave me alone Evans" was the only thing she'd heard from him since the kiss and she wasn't going to take it any more.

"Oi Potter!" Lily shouted "I want to talk to you"

"Since when have you called me Potter?" He sneered though hurt was clearly evident in his voice.

"Since when have you called me Evans?" She shot back. He just pushed past her, obviously ignoring her but Lily was not letting him go." Don't you walk away from me!"

"Just leave me alone,"

"What has gotten into you?" Lily said as the portrait covering their common room swung open.

"Can you just get me that damn potion so I can get this over and done with and go to detention?" He said, taking no notice, Lily looked livid but stormed of up to the bathroom anyway. The fact that she was being treated this way by anyone was bad enough but when it was a person she considered a best friend, it just wasn't good enough.

She opened the cabinet and grabbed the potion and cotton wool then slammed the door. Ignoring what the mirror had to say she stormed back down and for a moment anger drained from her body as she saw James looking a little upset. But when James looked up and gave her a cold smirk her insides were screaming for her to cry.

For a minute they just looked at each other and the tension was thick. They both stared at each other hoping the other one would crack. Outside they heard everyone enjoying the day for all it was worth. Lily slowly advanced towards James, hesitantly. She didn't understand his sudden change in behaviour- but every part of her body told her it had to be about that kiss.

She knelt down in front of him and poured the contents of the potion bottle onto the cotton wool. She dabbed it onto James' bleeding knee, only to hear a blinding pain come out of his mouth.

"Sorry," She muttered.

Patch inhaled a deep shaky breath as the potion stung his wound. He looked down at Lily and he features softened for a minute although unseen by Lily.

"Sorry for what? Sorry for healing my wound by a stinging and smelly potion? Or sorry I'm off with you?" he sighed.

Both?" Lily said looking to the ground "This is going to sting," She said gazing up so that she looked directly into his eyes. She then dabbed his leg with the Cotton wool for a second time, this time no sound came from his mouth but Lily felt his muscles tense. "I just don't understand why you're avoiding me, was it something I did?"

"I don't want to talk about it Lela." James sighed gazing at Lily.

"Well you better because you haven't talked to me since we kissed! And you keep calling me Evans- I don't understand why?" Her angry gaze reverted back to his face; she scanned his eyes for any hidden feelings, yet nothing. His eyes seemed completely expressionless and she hated him for it.

Inside a war was raging inside of him. Churning his sanity; should he tell her or not? Should he confess her that he'd had a sleepless night reliving that kiss? Then with the suns first light peeking into his room the answer had come to him. His feelings for Lily had changed; he cared for her more in some ways and it was confusing. More than he should as a friend. He'd realised that the kiss meant more. And he knew that if he told her what was running through his head it would ruin their friendship. But did he want that? What would he do? He looked at her face and didn't know what to think.


	8. Just a Dream

DISCLAIMER: nope...never was and never will be.

**White Paper  
Chapter 8 **

"Just leave it Lela, please" James said in a strained voice.

"No, I will not leave it because this is the most you have said to me in hours!" Lily said standing up and waved her wand so the potion disappeared. "We _need _to talk about last night. I don't want this stupid thing to ruin our friendship okay?"

"Can you just leave it Lela? It wont be ruined if you just drop it now." He said standing up starting to leave for his detention.

"No, there is no way I will just leave it, or drop it or pretend like it never happened because it's obvious it's had an effect on you and things don't just disappear." Lily snapped at him and James gulped "I'm sorry about yesterday okay- I'm sorry but just because we kissed does not mean I'm going to pounce on you or anything- I honestly don't like you like that, so if that's what is worrying you then don't."

The concept of only being friends with Lily cut James deep. It hurt like a sharp knife and he had no idea how to react and he had no idea why he had these feelings.

"It's not that Lela. I can't think straight now so please just leave it" he said trying his hardest to remain calm "So leave it! And leave me alone for a few days okay?"

"But, why? What happened? Is it your parents? You know you can tell me, I thought me were friends!" Lily said going into panic mode, she couldn't work James out and it was a first for her.

His mind raced with lies that she might believe but in the end he knew she was smarter than that and in this state of mind, she would pick it up right away.

"We are friends, and as a friend, I'm asking you to drop it now." He breathed a deep breath and stared down at Lily. Lily dropped her head and sighed

"Fine, but if this carries on James Potter- I am going to go over this over and over again until you tell me what the bloody hell is going on." She yelled, her anger growing.

"What is wrong with you....? CAN'T YOU JUST DROP IT LILY I AM NOT SOME MYSTERY FOR YOU TO SOLVE! LEAVE ME ALONE, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" James stormed towards the door, leaving Lily's eyes to bore into him as he left. Detention with Davis seemed almost inviting now. He had to get away, he had to clear his head, any distraction was going to be welcome.

Lily collapsed onto the couch as soon as the portrait shut. Her insides turned. She didn't understand, what did he mean by "drop it for our friendship" what was he talking about? Maybe he had gone off her, realising after the kiss he couldn't possibly be her friend. She shuddered at the idea that something as simple as a kiss could ruin their friendship that seemed unbreakable...until now.

Hurt struck her and so did the tears. Her whole body seemed to ache as she breathed heavily in attempt to calm herself down. Her eyelids started to droop and she was about to go to her dorm when she realised that she hadn't the strength to even move. Her thoughts stayed on James as she started to drift.

"Stupid Pringle! Stupid Davis!" James muttered as he walked through the corridors of the castle. Detentions with the two always drained him. Over the years they had worked together to get the job done with nothing in mind but finishing. But this time, this time it had been worse. Clark had charmed them together so they couldn't move more than a meter apart and James was sore from being continually pulled back to Davis' side.

He entered the heads common room and slammed the portrait back on itself. Groaning he started towards his room when he spotted Lily on the couch. He smiled sadly and walked over to her sleeping figure. Her red hair splayed across the cushions and slight smile was pulling at her lips. James stopped dead when Lily said something.

"Oh Patch, thank you," Lily giggled and a large smile was put on her lips. James grinned, she was having a dream about him. She was really beautiful when she wasn't screaming at him and it was so warm next to the fire. James acciod Lily's rug from her room and pulled it across her.

_It was a warm spring day and Lily was about nineteen. She was looking at her refection in the mirror. She wore a long white dress and her hair flowed nicely down her back. She reached up and grabbed the gold locket that hung around her neck with diamonds in the shape of a lily. Opening it up she saw two very familiar pictures._

_The first one was of a boy with messy black hair, no older then thirteen, and glasses spinning Lily around in the autumn leaves. They would fall over into a pile and laugh together then another boy with black hair would come along and jump on top of both of them. Lily smiled at the photo of her friend James and his friend Sirius. That had been a good day. _

_The other had Lily with her hands on her hips staring a sheepishly grinning James. Lily was obviously telling James off and James stood there and then covered Lily's mouth with his hand and raised an eyebrow at her. Lily then burst out laughing and James would join in. Lily and James were in their first year. _

_She closed the locket at looked at herself again and left the room. As she descended the stairs she saw a mop of messy black hair in black dress robes. He turned around and gave Lily a grin, Lily grinned back. _

_"I thought you had stood me up missy." James said with a smile._

_"Me? Stand you up? Never," Lily said. Holding his arm out to Lily he led her to the door._

_"I must say Lela, you look quite stunning tonight."_

_"Oh Patch, thank you." Lily said with a shy giggle then a large smile appeared on her face. When James opened the door Lily gasped, the yard had been covered in snow and tea candles surrounded the garden. The music started playing and James pulled Lily into a dance. Lily wondered why she hadn't felt this way about James sooner. _

_"I love you Lily, you know that?" James whispered into her ear and he kissed her briefly "I love you so much," He said meeting her eyes with a grin "You know, we should get married, you love me don't you?"_

_"Yes, of course I love you Patch." Lily said, breathless. He grinned and kissed her nose, forehead, cheek and finally, her lips, "Marriage sound good" She said while his face lit up. _

_"I love you," he said again_

_"I love you too," She said this time she was the one to lean in for a kiss but just before their lips met James was blasted backwards._

_"JAMES!" Lily yelled running over to where he lay. Her voice echoed through the garden and was lost in the air. She fell onto her knees_

_"JAMES! JAMES!" She yelled again tears pouring down her face. She tried to hold him, she tried to stop the blood pouring out of his stomach. _

_"IT'S THEM!" James yelled through the screams coming out of his mouth, Lily's heart ached "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT."_

_"Don't try and move James, don't scream, I'm going to get help" She said but James grabbed her wrist not letting her go._

_"IF OUR PARENTS NEVER KNEW THIS WOULDN'T BE HAPPENING, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" His shout echoed and taunted Lily over and over again, her insides were crumbling._

_"Please, James, don't, let me get help." But he didn't loosen his grip as his blood poured out, more and more he was losing._

_"NO, LISTEN, IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT" Lily's tears were coming down almost as fast as James' blood was being lost. _

_"No" was all she could whisper_

_"IF YOU DIDN'T TELL THEM WE COULD HAVE BEEN TOGETHER, EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE,"_

_"No, no" continually came out of Lily's voice desperately in hushed whispered voice._

_"IF YOU HAD LISTENED TO ME," James said losing breath and voice almost dead_

_"No," Her voice cracked, _

_"IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" each word stabbed at her, each word played at her head mocking her, _

_"NO!" she yelled loudly as she watched James' eyes droop._

_"I-" but he had breathed his last breath and James was now a lifeless body on the ground. "NO, NO! JAMES! JAMES! DON'T- DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T DIE! YOU CAN'T, YOU CAN'T GO! PLEASE, PLEASE JUST STAY, DON'T GO." Lily screamed as the last of James' screams still hung in the air. What had she done? James lay there, pale and still. Lily screamed a piercing scream while the tears blinded her eyes. The silence had only been a second as when James stopped, Lily started. _

_Screaming so loudly because of her loss. Screaming so loudly because she couldn't bare it. Screaming so loudly that she could almost feel the pain not cut through her body. Screaming so loudly that she wished the pain away and wished for her own death._

_And, as James lay there, cold and as white as the snow she kept on screaming until she opened her eyes._

James' heart had stopped when he noticed the smile slip from Lily's face and she started thrashing around and a small scream would escape form her mouth every now and again. "No, no Patch!" were the words coming out of her mouth now and James dreaded to think what was happening in her dream, was he hurting her? His blood ran cold at the thought, no. He was like a statue unable to think clearly, he didn't know what to do. Would he end up hurting her? When she screamed and reached for her wand he jumped. He'd never heard such a sound before; it was like she was being crucio'ed. He realised that he would have gladly taken her place.

He slowly and gently lowered himself down onto the side of the sofa that was unoccupied by Lily. He was sure she needed someone, and he was the only one here; but he didn't know what to do next. If the dream was really him hurting her; he would be the last person she would want to see. But she was obviously now in a nightmare, a nightmare he was staring in.

He was causing her pain, and he hated himself for it. Is that what would happen? If they were together, is this what the end would look like? If they were like this as Friends? Anything? Would he cause her pain?

He leaned over and was just about to wake her when she woke up of her own accord. She sat up, so suddenly, the screams still growing loader, and frantic, as though she was getting more and more scared.

When her eyes met his he saw the relief flood into them, her arms folded around his neck, tightly, so tight that they hurt him but he didn't want her to let go. He felt the tears staining his clothes and the yells deafening his ears and yet he was glad that she was here in his arms- where it was safe.

"It was so real Patch," Lily cried into his shoulder after her screams subsided where she was now just crying.

"It was just a dream Lela, you know I would never hurt you, only a dream" He said stroking her hair and rocking her slightly

"You w-w-w-weren't h-h-hurting me-e-e, I older, locket, dancing, blood was e-e-everywhere." She said through her laboured breaths

What? I didn't get any of that?" he said rubbing her back

"You left me," She shouted gripping onto James tighter "You left me even though I begged you to stay!" She said, his body stiffened. He hadn't hurt her, he left her on her own when she needed him- was that just as bad?

"I wouldn't leave you" He said soothingly "Nothing would make me do that."

"But you d-did" she said a bit louder "And I h-h-had to watch-"

"Shhh, Lela, it was just a dream."

"I thought you were gone" She said so quietly that if he wasn't holding her he wouldn't have heard at all. James' body tensed at the effect of him leaving had on her, it had hurt her. In turn, he realised that him leaving her earlier, without answers may have been the cause that initiated such a dream. But the more he thought about it, the more he struggled to understand how a simple thing such as him leaving a room in a dream could have had such a dramatic effect on her.

"Lela," He said pulling her back onto the sofa "Nothing is more important to me than you. Us. Our friendship. You saved me from being a spoil brat. Whatever, I do is what I think is best to preserve that. But I promise I will never leave you."

"You promise?" She said in a small voice as she cuddled into him like a pillow. As James looked down, he saw how calm she looked in contrast to the way she was moments ago and her arms, for the first time since she had woken, had stopped shaking. Her red curls rand down her back, as the trail of where her tears had run down her face still stained her cheeks, though the water from her eyes had stopped flowing. Her hands were now only loosely clenched and though she was snuggling up into James' body, she still lay in a clear fetal position.

They lay there for a long while in a comfortable silence until Lily raised her head and her green eyes pierced into him like never before

"Yes Lily, I promise." He sighed and Lily gave him a childlike smile before drifting off to sleep in James' arms.

It wasn't long before Lily drifted off into a silent sleep. As James enjoyed the sensation of them breathing in time a thought struck him,

'How could I have promised her that when I promised myself I'd stay away from her until my emotions towards her are less...? Well, just less. Tomorrow I'm going to have to stay away from her, just for a bit. It'll hurt her. It'll hurt me but I have to. I can't care for Lily like this without it affecting our friendship. I can't think straight around her anymore.' Lily moved slightly in her sleep. She was holding on to him for dear life and smiling. Her smile made James smile too.

Pulling his hand away he reached into his pocket and pulled out a mirror

"Sirius!" he yelled quietly. Sirius' face appeared where James' should be,

"What? You better have a good reason for waking me" Sirius said groggily.

"Mate, I need your help, can we sneak out to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Sirius' eyes widened

"What? You wanna come with us? Break the rules even though you're head boy?" James nodded with a forced grin but Sirius was to sleepy to notice. With a silly grin Sirius nodded his head. "Sounds like a great plan prongs, glad you changed your mind! See you tomorrow then, as always" James nodded and put his mirror in his pocket and looked down at Lily again.

He would do anything for her. For this girl in his arms. And even though it meant tomorrow he would break her heart and move away from her. For the good of their friendship. Tonight she was his. Snuggled in his arms. Fitting in his arms. He couldn't imagine a better way to be.

And with that he placed his head on top of hers. Breathed in her scent and let the steady beating of her heart carry him to sleep like a lullaby.


	9. Washing of the Rain

Disclaimer: Do not ownnnnnn

WHITE PAPER  
Chapter 9

It wasn't the same. Lily feared that it would never be the same again. They had changed, the stress maybe, or maybe they were just growing up. Or, thought Lily, James was changing. The days were growing colder and winter was on its way. Lily sat on the bench on her veranda looking out at the wind tossing the leaves around. Lily sighed, seventh year was meant to be the best year of your life and it was turning out to be anything but. Her best friend was acting strange and because of the heads tower she wasn't seeing her friends as much. James was avoiding her, or he was trying to, she wasn't exactly sure what James was doing. During the day he was cold and elusive. They didn't chat much. But at night they would be sitting in the common room playing chess or reading or just chatting like old times when she might say something and James's eyes would turn cold and he wouldn't be warm Patch but the James Potter he acted like when they were caught. As time went on Lily saw more and more of the "true" James and less and less of Patch, it was not turning out to be a good year and christmas was closing in, holidays would be soon, Lily wouldn't have time to talk to James for much longer.

"What is wrong with you Patch!" Lily slammed her books onto the table as yet again he had suddenly turned cold with no warning whatsoever and she had had enough. Jams turned around and looked at her with his steely gaze

"Nothing is wrong with me, it's you who has the problem." he replied in a straight tone.

"No, no Patch, can you make up your mind? Which person do you want to be? Patch, or James Potter?" Lily demanded. James looked at her and slowly shook his head. Turning back around he started for his bedroom without an answer. Lily grabbed his shoulder and pulled him around roughly. "You're going to answer me James Potter." Lily said angrily.

"You don't understand Lela," he trailed off not meeting her eyes. Lily loosened her grip on his shoulder and softened her voice

"Then help me to understand, what happened?" Closing his eyes James let out a sigh and spoke quietly.

"You'll never understand." Pulling his shoulder out of her grip he walked into his room and closed the door. Lily couldn't move. He had done it again, he had walked out on her and Lily couldn't understand why. Soon she was going to give up altogether, James and Lily were not going to be friends if this kept up.

***

Waking up suddenly Lily realised it was all a dream, James was not dead but rather alive she relaxed. Smiling that it was finally the weekend she got out of bed and got dressed. Putting on her white coat she walked into the common room. Lifting up a hand to block the sunlight from burning her eyes Lily sighed, everything had changed this year and as much as she wanted to believe it, she didn't think there was a chance to regain what they had lost.

Walking towards the door she noticed James lying on the couch still in his uniform. Homework covered the table and Lily giggled at his messy hair and how his mouth was open. Realising that she hadn't talked to him since their last row she walked over and just looked at the boy that use to be her friend and felt the familiar stab in her heart. She smiled again, he couldn't avoid her now.

"Patch." She said gently giving him a slight push on the should, he didn't move "Patch." She said a bit louder. James moved his head a bit

"Just a bit longer mum…" James mumbled. Lily giggled again

"It's me, Lily and you need to get up now Patch." She said softly. Cracking open an eye he looked at her

"What do you want?" He said harshly. Thrown aback Lily moved away from him.

"It's Hogsmeade today, we have to go patrol." She said in the same tone he had talked to her, she had been nothing but nice to him.

"Well, go patrol then, you haven't needed me lately have you?" he said turning his head so he wasn't looking at her. She hated this James, she would do anything to get the old one back. The cold shoulders, the sneers and the glares she was sent when he had to be in her presence made her stand on end.

Her father might have been right after all, all boys were after one thing and there was no point trying to befriend them.

She looked out side to see everyone wrapped up in woollens because of the cold, the snow was on its way. The sky was grey, as grey as it had been the past week and Lily realised that that was exactly how it had been lately, cold devoid of emotion and dreary. She had given him the chances and had given him time and effort with nothing in return and Lily just wasn't sure how much longer she could keep this up.

"Well Potter, it says the head girl _and _boy are meant to and as you may or may not have realised…I am only the head girl." She sneered at him, mocking him, showing him how she was unhappy "And you are head boy so today, you have to spend the whole day with me.

"When was this organised?"

"Second week." He couldn't have forgotten that could he?

"Oh." He muttered. Lifting himself off the couch he pushed past Lily towards the bathroom "No need to wait around Evans." He said mockingly. Lily glared back at him and stormed towards the door.

"Be a doll and grab me a bagel wont you?" James called out.

"Are you-" Lily began to yell angrily but the bathroom door shut on her face cutting off her words. Stomping her foot she walked out.

An hour later Lily stood at the entrance with a smile on her face and hands behind her back. James walked down the stairs and towards her with a cocky grin on his face.

"Where's the food Evans?" He asked. Lily smiled

"Here it is James." She said bringing her hands around from behind her back showing him a napkin filled with strawberries. James took a step back

"You know I'm allergic to those Lily!." He said in annoyance.

"I know." She sung happily "Better make your way out to the carriage James, Wouldn't want to be late now would you." Groaning James whipped out his wand and a bagel came zooming towards him. Lily stopped dead in her tracks. She had taught him that spell. Remembering the classroom they sat in until the sun rose practising the spell until he got it right in fifth year. The past, all the past, Lily shook her head, she didn't want to be remembering that now. Their families were pulling them apart and Lily felt stupid for not listening to him earlier. He had always told her how this would happen but Lily would shake her head saying she didn't care. How was she to now it would hurt this much.

She looked up at James to notice him looking at her with concern. Lily glanced at him in understanding he then took it upon himself to turn away from her and walk into the carriage, almost reluctantly. Her eyes felt damp as he said nothing and blanked her. She couldn't, for the life of her, work out what he was wrong with him, but she gave asking a week ago.

Lily decided to try and forget about her troubles and just enjoy her day. She observed the people around her, trying to get lost in their laughter.

A brown haired girl was grinned at a boy with blonde hair as they walked around together.

"Lets go to the shrieking shack." She said with excitement to him. He grinned at her and nodded. "I'm so glad you came, you have been studying so hard lately I haven't seen you in ages." Lily took notice to the lack of holding hands and the gap between the two, they were obviously friends, just like her and James had been…exactly like her and James use to be.

"Yeah, mum told me if my grades don't improve she wasn't going to buy me the new broomstick." He said "But do you want to help me? There are some stuff in transfig I just don't understand and you're great at that." The girl blushed and smiled

"Yeah, that would be good because I can't get that potion essay." she said with a laugh

"But that's so easy." rolling her eyes she hit him on the shoulder

"That may be because you're so brilliant at it oh awesome potion master." She said while he just grinned at her.

"Aw thanks Jess…but I already knew it." He took off as if knowing she was going to hit him for what he had just said as she laughed and ran after him. Lily looked at James with a knowing grin on her face and as her green eyes met his hazel ones James grinned to.

It was around two o'clock that things started to get out of hand.

"Lily!" Sophie yelled dragging John with her. Lily laughed, John had obviously latched onto Sophie. "Potter." Sophie said in a less than friendly voice. James just raised an eyebrow, clearly bored with the situation.

"Hey Soph, John." Lily said with a smile. John opened his mouth but nothing came out. "Er Soph, why can't John speak?" she asked.

"Oh thats what I came to tell you about." She waved her wand and John started singing… Very off tune. Lily's eyes widened and Sophie waved her wand again making the singing stop and John stop blushing. James laughed and Lily hit him in the stomach to shut him up.

"What happened?" Lily demanded. Sophie let out a deep breath of air and began

"Well, we were walking into Zonko's and they had these new products for trying, they were called bird sweets or something."

"Singing sweets." James supplied with a grin showing he knew _exactly _ what they were talking about "Sirius designed them." Sophie brushed James off and continued

"Anyway, he decided to try one and now he can't stop singing. almost as stupid as when he tried those paintballs that you put a spell on and they go after a person. Well this genius here thought he would try it on himself!" Sophie said rolling her eyes as she rambled on

"Wait, did you say something about paintballs?" Lily asked

"Yeah, why?" Lily turned around and glared at James.

"You knew! You knew all this time that it was Sirius and didn't tell me!" She demanded storming towards him as James cowered. James gave her a guilty smile. "I am going to kill him!"

"What's a guy to do? Turn in his best friend?" James asked, Lily glared at him.

"You do realise he is the reason we were late for the feast, and then that stupid rumour and that changed…" Lily trailed off.

"Our friendship?" James supplied. "Look Lela, it wasn't that. Maybe part of it but it's just best for us to not be friends anymore okay, I don't want to see you hurt." He sighed "Look lets talk about it later. Right now we need to be role models and killing people probably wouldn't set the best example." Lily punched him in the arm.

"But I just know it was them that gave Peeves those paint bombs!" she said clearly still fuming but obviously calming down.

"Not now okay Lils." he said "You have to have evidence first okay."

"I have enough to go throw him in the ground and bury him." She said with a smile.

"No, you need to talk to them first."

"No way in hell am I talking to him. If I do I'll curse him into next week and you don't want that do you Patch." she looked up at him "You can do it!"

"Do what?" James asked confused "Ask sirius for the antidote? No way is he going to give it to me, no way. He would find this way to funny and getting it for Hunter he would laugh in my face!"

They were now standing outside the three broomsticks where Sirius would of course be. Sirius was inside entertaining a crowd with a young boy singing then he would pop a lolly in his mouth and it would stop.

"Ha! I knew it, they do have a cure. Now all you have to do is go in and ask for one." Lily said while sliding her hand up his arm to his neck. James's heart missed a beat while his mouth went dry.

"Fine." he grunted and went inside. Lily smiled and watched James go up to sirius and then without notice they both disappeared. Lily's smiled dropped and her anger reappeared. Where had he gone?

Moments later he appeared infront of her and thrust the package in her hands without another word and disappeared without another word. Lily was mad. She stormed back up to the castle gave John the antidote and waited at the only way back to the castle James had.

She saw a light heading towards her and Lily sat up remembering everything she had thought out to say the hour or two she had been sitting there waiting. It was now dark outside and the clouds threatened to rain.

"Patch, I want to speak to you." Lily said in a firm voice.

"Not now." He said as he pushed past her to go inside.

She blocked his path but he moved past her and sprinted into the castle. He performed a complicated disillusionment spell before silently leaving her behind. She was stunted beyond comprehension.

As she started to run towards Gryffindor tower she still couldn't figure how he had gotten away from her. As she raced towards the tower she was glad that everyone was in the Great Hall still. Because the sky outside seemed ominous they'd be no chance of her getting her target without having to explain herself if the common room was occupied.

She sat by the window not letting the tears fall when she noticed a familiar figure out in the grounds. Grabbing her wand she ran outside.

A while later she burst through the door and ran towards where she saw him slumped by a tree, their tree. As she got closer she slowed down to catch her breath.

"Hey Patch!" she yelled angrily walking over to where he lay. This was it. Tonight she was going to get answers. "I want a word." James looked up a glared at her.

"I don't want to listen to your annoying voice right now so just leave me alone Lela." She was next to him in a second.

"Not tonight Patch, tonight you're giving me answers." and she pointed her wand at him. "Have you ever been on the receiving end of my hexes?" James shook his head. "well if you don't tell me what the hell has got into you these days then you will know" She jabbed the wand into him, "Exactly what it feels like!"

"Threatening me now are we Evans?"

"No." She said with a smirk "It's a promise."

"Hate to break it to you Lela, but you aren't that special, you know. Just give it up." James went to move his feet and noticed he couldn't when he saw a blue ring around him. He looked up at her "What the hell do you think you've done?" He demanded.

"You aren't going anywhere." Lily sneered at him sitting down and putting her wand back in her robes.

"Well you aren't getting anything out of me." He said crossing his arms

"Then get comfortable." she said leaning back on her arms with a smirk plastered on her face

"Oh come on, just let me go." He screamed at her thoroughly annoyed. She raised her eyebrow "Please?" he added hopefully

"Nope. Not going to work this time." she said rolling her eyes.

"This isn't fair." he said leaning back against the tree.

"You want to know what isn't fair!" she asked him in a harsh voice "When your best friend decides he doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore and then changes his mind again and again and you have no idea which person is real and which one is fake and you're stuck in a limbo of confusion wondering what on earth you did to deserve that. It's not fair being avoided and the only explanation is to "drop it". Does that sound fair? Well does it? Because if you think this isn't fair have a walk in my shoes because James Potter you aren't being very fair to me either." Lily yelled at him. She was hysterical now; James could see it. He knew he shouldn't push it but it had to be done, it was the only way to get away from her.

"Just. Let. Me. Go." He said trying to stay hostile but not doing a great job at it.

"Can't you just tell me what's wrong? Give me something? Anything?" Lily pleaded with him. She was helpless and James could see how much he had ruined her. James's heart felt heavy with guilt, he didn't realise he had done so much to her.

"Just leave me alone please and let me go." He said, he didn't want to deal with it now…or ever.

"No. I will not leave it. I will not bloody well drop it and I will not give up. Not this time!" she said, her hands shaking "We are sorting this out right now. and I don't care if it take the whole flipping night, tomorrow or the day after that. You are telling me what's wrong right now."

"Please just let me go." He begged again. She didn't budge.

"Is it you family?"

"No."

"Parents?"

"No!"

"Is it about school?"

"NO!

"Then what is it about!"

"YOU! Okay it's all about you!" He scream at her before he could stop the words spilling out of his mouth. The rain came and a drop found it's way onto Lily's face.

"Me?" She said in a soft disbelieving voice "W-what did I do?"

"You, You're just so -so" He stuttered finding the right word that would be strong enough to describe it.

"Oh, what a great reason Potter," She laughed harshly trying to shrug it off but it was a lot heavier then she realised.

"You aren't perfect you know. You have fault too!"

"I never thought I was perfect!" she said outraged. She looked so upset, it cut James's heart.

"Are you kidding me!" James carried on with it " You walk around the halls like you own them, order people and ME about as though we are all below you. You act like some princess like you are better then all of us because of your grades and everything. You think I couldn't be angry at you for that because, God forbid, some might not like perfect Evans?" He yelled at her. They were both drenched by now and the rain wasn't going to give up anytime soon.

"You don't like me?" she said in a small voice as the tears started to obstruct her vision

"Well done, you get first prize in the smart department." He sneered at her "Look, I don't want to be friends anymore, it would be better that way.

"What? Why?" She yelled at him, she didn't want it to be true but it seem like what he was saying he actually meant it but Lily didn't want to believe it.

"Because it's wrong. You're wrong, I can't believe I didn't listen to my dad in the first place." Lily gasped. That hurt.

"No, Patch, this isn't you, that's your dad!" she tried to hold onto something, she bent over to touch me and slapped her hand away.

"Oh grow up Evans, my dad didn't say anything."

"No, Patch, this isn't you…" she said again, it couldn't be true. This was not Patch.

"You don't get it do you." he screamed at her "I don't like and I never did so grow up and just leave me ALONE!"

"Your lying!" she shouted at him, her tears mixing in with the rain fighting the feeling of panic setting in.

"No, it's all true Evans and you better believe it." His voice was harsh "When will you GET THE MESSAGE?"

"When you tell me the truth! You're lying to me Patch and I want to know WHY." she said reaching towards her wand

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!" James yelled at her again "It doesn't matter- we can't be friends, we never could. It was wrong, it was ALL wrong."

"It doesn't matter Patch. You. Me. It doesn't matter, we can't give up now. Not because of our families or anything." She said stepping forward she put a hand through his hair

"It has nothing to do with that." he said firmly shoving her hand away.

"THEN WHAT?" she said pleading him to tell her the truth. The truth that he didn't have in him.

"You want to know why?" Lily nodded slowly "I hate you." Lily breathed in quickly "You make me wish I could start over. YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH EAISER WITHOUT YOU."

"YOU HATE THAT FEELING! BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE ME…" she shouted. he started at her, he wanted to scream at her but she started again "YOU LOVE ME LIKE BEST FRIENDS LOVE EACH OTHER!" there is was again…friends. It hurt.

James snorted and then laughed at her.

"Love you? Ha. I don't love you. I hate you in every way shape and form. I wish we never met, I wish we were never friends. Love you." He snorted again "As if."

Lily's breathing was fast "You said - you said that it was you and me forever -"

"Forever isn't real. Forever is for story books, not real life Evans."

"But- b- But…"

"It's over Lily, we're finished" He said bluntly looking at the ground. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, not again. He couldn't bear look at the hurt in her eyes and the pain in her body.

"But you said…" She sobbed. Her whole body was numb; the rain was forgotten, it was of no use to them, it wasn't cleaning anything, all it was doing was creating a mud bath.

"Just words, everyone can lie and promises are made to be broken."

"So, the last seven years - it's over?" She questioned him through her tears. She couldn't believe it.

James nodded.

Lily studied him for a bit then turned and walked back up to the castle. Her emotions were overflowing and leaving a trail. She felt like she was going to burst. She didn't understand, nothing made sense anymore. She felt alone. all alone. She was scared. Scared as to what she would be. He was such a big part of her life, such a large part of her heart…all gone. And as she walked away from James, from seven years of her life, she sobbed. Unaware that James watched her with regret.

Patch and Lela were no more.

James and Lily were no more.

Potter and Evans were all that was left, strangers in a room.

Seven years were gone.

James sat by the tree his whole body in pain. Lily had taken the spell of somewhere in the midst of it. James stared at Lily's retreating back wondering if maybe if she hated him the act would be easier to keep.

**A/N I did it...I finally updated and I am so sorry for not doing it sooner...This is the longest chapter yet so I hope this helps with the long wait. Tell me what you think. Did James just make a huge mistake? Is James going to realise it?**

**Please review! They make my day...and they help me update faster :D**

**x Walking_on_a_dream**


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